In the Water. On the Beach. Whatever.

On the homefront this evening, this is the question I was asked:

“Mom, if a giant squid — and I mean one of the REALLY, REALLY BIG ONES –has just two tentacles in the water, and the rest of his body was on the beach, would he die?”

Duh. That one was easy.

“Yes. Yes, I’m afraid he would die. Tell him to get back into the water. He won’t be able to breathe. He shouldn’t be playing on the beach.”

The boy looked at me. “Mom, are you actually sure about that?”

“Yes. Yes, I am quite sure.”

This is where he got up and left me. He bounced down the stairs, and I heard him ask Hubs, “Hey, Dad, if a giant squid — you know, one of the really enormous ones — had two tentacles on the beach, and the rest of his body in the water, would he die?”

Hubs said, “Nope. He’d probably be fine.”

The boy came back upstairs. “Dad says that he’d be just fine, Mom, with two tentacles out of the water, and the rest of his body IN the water. You were actually wrong, but that’s okay.” He tried to soothe my feelings over with sugary words, but I was having none of it.

“You didn’t ask me the same question! You asked me if the thing could live with his body on the beach, and two tentacles in the water. You asked Daddy if it would stay alive with his body in the water, and two tentacles on the beach. It wasn’t the same question. I’m still right, because I answered the question I was given correctly.”

The boy looked at me and said, “Mom, you’re all messed up. I was talking about his tentacles being out of the water. You must’ve misunderstood me; no wonder you were wrong.” And then that crazy kid patted me. Yep. He patted me on the shoulder, kind of like you do when you feel badly for someone, because their gray matter doesn’t function like yours does.

Excuse me??!! My question was entirely different than Hubs’ question. I’m sticking to it. The boy is trying to confuse me and get me to confess to being wrong. I want my lawyer present…

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