The Post That Turns Into a Giant List

Hubs and I dedicated this last Friday night to the television set.

Horrible, but true.

Mam and Pa had made arrangements to steal the boy for the night, so Hubs and I had originally planned to have a grown-up date, by ourselves. We had discussed hitting a restaurant which has linen napkins, instead of paper, and where none of the food is served on a plastic tray with a made-in-China trinket for a toy, which the boy will leave in the back of the Suburban, until my beloved vehicle resembles a landfill for neglected and deceased Happy Meal toys.

Unfortunately, the evening didn’t pan out the way we’d expected, because I was feeling crummy, and completely under the weather, so Hubs and I decided to stay home. I donned my red flannel jammies at 6:30 PM, people.

Six. Thirty. On a Friday night. And the jammies were on.

And then we laid like slugs (It was our only defense!) on the sofa, and pushed the play button on the DVR.

And behold! Lost started up, and it left me feeling just as…well…lost as ever.

Listen, Lost writers! Enough with the weirdness. I just want to see Jack kiss Kate, and I want them to live happily ever after. Let’s turn this train wreck around and start giving your audience happy endings. Thank you.

And then, when last week’s DVR-ed episode of Lost wrapped itself up on Friday night, Hubs and I moved onto last week’s episode of The Office, and I just want to say this one thing: I have never, ever laughed so stinking hard at a TV program before in the entirety of my grand amount of years. No, ma’am, I haven’t.

In fact, it’s safe to say that I howled with laughter until I wept, people, as The Office really outdid itself this last week. Ohmylands, but there was some serious funniness there! In fact, Hubs and I laughed so hard in a couple of different spots, we were glad for the invention of the DVR, so that we could go back and listen to the parts that we’d missed, as we’d totally drowned them out with our hysterical giggles.

There were just too many funny remarks to count in this episode, but I’ll try. (And I’m really sorry if you’re not a fan of The Office, because, if you aren’t, these quotes won’t mean anything to you. But if you ARE a fan…goodness! You’ll read these, and remember them, and burst into fits of hyena-style laughter. That’s my prediction.)

1. “I have a shirt like that in my car!” (This one about put Hubs over the edge. He laughed so hard, he actually rolled off our sofa. True story. I wouldn’t lie about this.)

2. “I searched everywhere, but I didn’t find it. What I did find was mold, and lots of it. So I did what anyone would do. I read a book, had a bath, got a good night’s sleep, and made plans to eradicate it. I also made some plans to ask Jim where he bought his marvelous sheets. Time to get to work.” (How can you not laugh until you cry at some of Dwight’s antics?)

3. “Child will be breastfed by the mother for exactly six months, then weaned onto a nutrient-rich winter mash provided by the father, Dwight Schrute, hereafter referred to as Morpheus.”

4. “Ho, ho! Hoo! Contraption! She’s contrapting. Okay, you know what? I think that I should drive you guys to the hospital, and here’s why. I am a licensed, Class C driver in the state of Pennsylvania. I gassed up the car. Actually, I put diesel in this time; trying to save some money…”

5. “Now I’m halfway through the Twilight cookbook. Last night, I had Edward’s Cornflake Chicken.”

6. “I’m going to go wash my eyes now.”

And those are just the tip of the iceberg, people!

Then Hubs and I absolutely loved the scene where Dwight was being pulled over by the police officer, and he kept chucking weapons of all shapes and sizes out of his passenger-side window.

Hmm. Good times with The Office this week. Hubs and I debated rewatching it, just because, but Hubs immediately changed his course of action when he realized that Airplane! was on TV. Naturally, all else stopped, because Hubs had some serious laughing to do in that one. He claimed, “This is one of those shows that I could literally watch a hundred times and never get tired of.”

I wanted to kick him in the head with an iron boot.

But, that got me thinking about shows that I’ll stop and watch when they’re being replayed on TV, regardless of how many times I’ve seen them before. Would I watch Airplane! if I came across it while I was channel surfing?

No. Not at all. Hubs and I are completely different in that regard.

Then, just this morning, I was reading another blog, and the gal actually wrote a post about which shows are worth watching over and over, and I thought to myself, “I was just wondering about that on Friday night!” She invited people to post comments on her blog this morning, listing the shows that they never grow tired of. So…I’m stealing her idea. Which was, you know, kind of my idea on Friday.

Did she steal my thoughts? Am I stealing hers? Is this illegal? But it can’t be, because I had the original idea on Friday evening, while I was attempting to avoid Airplane! and keep up with the craziness that my friends, Amy and Regan, were texting to my phone.

What is that about great minds thinking alike?

1. I can honestly say that all else will stop — just! stop! with a screeching halt! — if Steel Magnolias is on and I find it while channel surfing. Two of my friends in college, Deb and Trish, and I used to watch this on a VHS tape over and over and over, until the tape became grainy and skippy. But here’s the catch: We watched it at least two hundred times up until the part where Shelby dies. That’s it. Not one of the three of us could bear to feel the sorrow when Shelby passes away, so we always quit the movie at that part and considered it a fantastic, feel-good show! To this day, it’s my favorite. Trish and I can quote it, verbatim. (“You need to have your roots done,” and “If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past,” and “There is no such thing as natural beauty,” and “I promise you that my personal life will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.” Don’t get me started. We could be here all day. And what quotes that I cannot remember, Trish will fill in easily!) But here’s a fantastic one to end with:

“I’ve just been to the dedication of the new children’s park.”
“Yeah? How did that go?”
“Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.”
“Was she hurt?”
“I doubt it! She got hit in the head!”

2. The Holiday. I think that this is the show which finally (finally!) made me like Jude Law. I hadn’t liked him one whit before this one, but he was so sweet…And Jack Black! Has he ever been more wonderful than he was in this movie?

3. Sixteen Candles. This is one that Hubs and I do agree on. Hubs counts this as one of his all-time favorites, too, and the boy is constantly asking, “What do you mean when you keep saying, ‘Autooooomobillle???'”

4. The Breakfast Club. Hmm. The captain of the wrestling team meets the librarian. THAT sounds a little like real life to me!

5. Footloose. Oh, Ren McCormack! I wanted you and your little Slug Bug to move to Small Town, USA and teach us all how to dance! (And, as a side note, my all-time favorite episode of Will and Grace is when Will and Kevin Bacon dance!) Hubs thinks that Footloose could very possibly be the dumbest movie ever to make it to the big screen. He hates it. He loathes it. He has no good words to say about it. It’s probably because Hubs hates dancing. And loathes dancing. And doesn’t really enjoy any piece of cinematography where there IS dancing.

6. Pretty in Pink. Does a movie get any better than this one? “What about prom, Blaine?” Classic. And don’t forget, “You should never drink and drive; that is why I ride a bike.” Duckie, you were wonderful. Hubs actually bought this movie for me on DVD years ago, for Valentine’s Day. I think it was the only year that Hubs has actually remembered Valentine’s Day. He tends to think that it’s one of those roaming holidays, which is on a Thursday late in the month. I try to tell him that he’s thinking of Thanksgiving every single year.

7. The Notebook. I cry in it every single time.

8. Back to the Future. But just the first one. The sequels weren’t fantastic, but Marty McFly rocked the big screen in the first movie. “Why do you keep calling me Calvin?” And Lorraine responds by saying, “Well, that is your name, isn’t it? Calvin Klein? It’s written all over your underwear.”

9. 13 Going on 30. Purely wonderful. I bawl in it every single time Matt gives Jenna the cardboard house back. I cry, and I cry, and I cry, until I am coated in snot and gasping for breath. It’s absolutely perfect.

10. Mannequin. Loved it. Loved Andrew McCarthy. Loved Hollywood. I actually just saw this one on TBS a couple of months ago, and, admittedly, the storyline is a lot cheesier now that I’m all grown up, but still…It’s a genuine romantic classic.

Clearly, my list of favorite movies is entirely different than Hubs’ list would be. To qualify for Hubs’ list, a movie would have to be filled with explosions, grenades, machine gun fire, more explosions, an arm being cut off, a car chase that ended in a gigantic fireball, a Camaro, a tank, and aliens capturing earth’s civilians.

Hubs and I don’t agree on a whole lot of movies, but I kind of like him.

What about prom, Hubs? Huh? What about prom?

2 thoughts on “The Post That Turns Into a Giant List

  1. So J & I were lying on OUR couches Friday night (like slugs, because it was OUR only defense), and the movie which inspired Airplane! was on TCM. Oh. My. Lands. That movie was begging to be spoofed. I kept expecting Leslie Nielsen to pipe up, "…and don't call me Shirley!" I'm not kidding, Airplane! was better. By a landslide. Just a little movie trivia. And can I just add? Casablanca. Notorious. Rear Window. The Man from Snowy River (I had the BIGGEST crush on Jim Craig when I was a wee lass). An Affair to Remember. Sleepless in Seattle. Big. And who could forget the movie which sent me into labor? Blazing Saddles. I'll stop there. Oh, and On the Waterfront. Okay now I'm done. I think…

  2. P.S. The original was called Zero Hour. Not sure how I skipped that in my first comment. So there ya go; now I'm done.

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