A Day’s Worth of Raw Talent

It has been a stellar day today, let me tell you.

Today, I…

1. Dropped my checkbook out of the Suburban. Into a puddle.

2. Slopped the soup that I had for lunch. Yep. All over the front of my shirt. While I was at work. If that doesn’t spell classy, I don’t know what does. It’s always great to greet people with a soup stain the size of Manhattan on your outfit.

3. Realized at 8:30 this evening that the boy’s school shirt, in his school colors, which he is supposed to wear on Fridays, was in the dirty clothes hamper. At the bottom. I cringe with embarrassment admitting this, but, people, I dug that sucker out, gave it a couple of solid shakes, smelled it a couple of times, and I hung it up in the boy’s bathroom on a hanger, where he can find it in the morning when he gets up. Don’t tell me none of you have ever done something that atrocious before. We are all sinners, saved by grace. We have all let our children wear dirty clothes to school before. Thankfully, I don’t think his school shirt, in his school colors, has a big cream of broccoli soup stain on it. For that, he earns bonus points.

4. Melted some butter in a skillet to add to the scrambled pancake recipe, which we had for dinner. Burned the butter, good and proper. It looked like liquid brown sugar. Used it anyway. Ended up with really sticky scrambled pancakes. Thankfully, the boy still loved them, because he’s nine, and clearly sticky doesn’t bother him.

5. Was supposed to write a check today for $53. Wrote $53 in the number line. Spelled out the words forty-three dollars in the other line on the check. Felt quite intelligent. Ended up scribbling all over the check to correct things. I’m sure the bank is going to cash it for the recipient.

6. Just walked a mile on my treadmill. Kind of fast-like. Dripped a little sweat. Was a bit pleased with my mile time. As soon as I got off, my nine-year-old boy got on. He ran a mile on my treadmill. Kind of fast-like. His time blew my time out of the water. May give up the treadmill early for Lent. I certainly did not entertain the idea of pushing my boy off the treadmill, while he was running, when he was closing in on my time.

All of this happened today between the hours of 6:30 AM and 8:30 PM. As I said, it was a stellar day.

But, you know what? I did not trip over a soccer ball at my kid’s soccer practice. I did not fall on the ground because I had tripped over a soccer ball at my kid’s soccer practice. But, people, I know someone who did! And I still love her! And I’m just glad that I ended up with a wet checkbook, a stained shirt, a dirty shirt for the boy to wear to school, burned butter, a ruined check, and a kid who showed me up with his mile time. All of these things I can handle!

And, confidential to You Who Did Trip Over the Soccer Ball at Your Kid’s Soccer Practice: You’re still hot, Baby! Walk it off! We love ya.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *