A Real Glimpse of Married Life

We had a few interesting conversations around the Jedi Manor this weekend.

Hubs (while watching me slap Miracle Whip and slices of Velveeta onto bread, so that the boy could have a sandwich): “You know, Velveeta isn’t even a food. How else can you explain why you can buy cheese on a shelf in the grocery store, and not have it be refrigerated?”

Mama (not bothering to look at Hubs, because Hubs and Mama have had this conversation many times, because Hubs and the Velveeta do not get along): “The boy likes Velveeta, and it’s the only cheese he’ll actually eat on a sandwich.”

Hubs: “Well, it isn’t right. Velveeta is a by-product, and not a food product. And you know, with that massive oil leak in the Gulf, the Velveeta manufacturers aren’t going to be able to make as much of it now in the United States. Oil shortage equals Velveeta shortage.”

* * *

Hubs (as he was surveying the enormous dirt pile surrounding our retaining wall project): “You know, I refuse to die until I’ve become the proud owner of a tractor. Every man needs a tractor, and I promise you that I’m going to have one before I die. A tractor and a chainsaw. That’s all I need to make me a happy man.”

Mama: “What about me?”

Hubs: “You can ride on the back of my tractor, but the chainsaw will be too dangerous for you to operate alone.”

Mama: “That’s not what I meant. Shouldn’t you have listed ME before tractor and chainsaw in the list of what makes you happy?”

Hubs: “Yes. And I would now like to amend my list. I currently own 33.3% of what would make me a very happy man.”

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