The word on the street is that Hubs has quit his job.
He wants to simply sit in his recliner all day, watching recorded episodes of Glen Beck’s program on the DVR and taking short catnaps in front of ESPN. He wants to holler across the house for me to bring him cold cans of Coke and tall cans of Pringles chips. He wants to quit shaving, and he wants to wear ratty sweats and even rattier T-shirts all the time.
He envisions it as living the good life. I envision it more as having a troll living in my basement.
Actually, the honest truth is that Hubs did indeed quit his job after ten full years there, because Hubs and his buddy, Ryan, have started their own computer business. Hubs is now self-employed, so he won’t be hanging out all day in my basement, making a nuisance of himself after all. Basically this means that we have new insurance cards to test out all around town, and we are learning the ins and outs of what is covered, and what the new insurance carrier simply laughs at behind our backs.
Hubs, bless his heart, is a bit of a genius on the computer. He whispers to them, if you will.
Last night, I asked Hubs, “So, after two days on the new job, are you and Ryan ready to hire a secretary yet? Because, honestly, I know a girl who might do the job, and she has some computer skillz.” (I put the z on the end of that word, to really emphasize what this potential secretary was capable of.)
Hubs burst out laughing. He laughed and laughed and laughed. He laughed until his side hurt. And then, amidst his tears of laughter, he looked me straight in the eyeballs and said, “Honey, being able to check your email, and delete your email, and forward your email, and order stuff from abercrombiekids-dot-com doesn’t really count as computer skillz.”
Little does he know, though, that I totally blasted Susan off of her First Place Pedestal on Typing Maniacs on Facebook today.
My spiritual gift is back, and it’s back full-force.
So really, when Hubs learns that I have fingers of fire and can type with great speed and finesse, in addition to being capable of ordering Abercrombie T-shirts for my kid online and being able to fully manage an email account, he’ll reconsider.
And I’m rather certain he’ll hire me as his secretary.
But he’ll have to teach me to make coffee first, because I never did learn to do that job very well. (At least not on the cheap coffee pots that are commonly found in your typical computer company office. I actually have coffee-making skillz, too, but they’re more for the coffee pots which cost upwards of $1,800. I can make coffee on those babies! But the little automatic drip systems? Forget it. I’m clueless. But did I mention? I can type really fast!)