I’ll Have a Triple Crown to Go, Please…

I don’t think that it’s any secret that if I ever win the lottery (the lottery which I’ve never, ever played), I would buy myself a horse ranch in Kentucky and raise Derby winners.

I think it’s because I was cut out to wear the big, floppy hats and the long white gloves and carry the sassy handbags and shout out sentences like, “You run your race, Horse!” and “We’re just going to give it everything we’ve got and hope for the best in this race.”

I can learn the cliches in the world of horse racing fairly quickly. I’m certain of it.

Where this dream actually came from is beyond me, because it was Sister who was always the horse girl in the family. She spent hours (Hundreds and hundreds of hours, people!) on her knees, clutching two empty soda cans in her hands, clomping around on our hard floors and making whinny noises. The soda cans? Well, they were horse hooves, of course, and they made a fantastically awesome clomping sound on all hard surfaces.

Sister never did have a single pair of pants that weren’t blown out at the knees.

Not until junior high, at least.

Up until the time she was a 5th grader, if you asked Sister what she wanted to be when she grew up, she’d respond, “A horse!” every single time, even though I was plenty kind enough to yell at her for it and say, “You can’t BE a horse, dummy!”

I did my best to help her see the flaw in her career goals. I think she finally caught on and understood her errors by the time she was eleven.

Thank goodness! Because really? Having a high-school-aged sister who went around proclaiming to the world that she was going to actually become a horse when she reached maturity would have been dreadfully embarrassing.

While Sister was busy living out her horse dreams with an empty Dr. Pepper can in one hand and an empty Pepsi can in the other, I was busy throwing a softball onto the roof of our house, so that I could practice catching pop flies.

Or I was busy kicking my soccer ball against the house, practicing for the time I debuted in the Olympics on the women’s soccer team.

I had no dreams of becoming a horse, or owning a horse, or even being around a horse.

And then all of that changed as I grew up. Now days, I think I would make a rather grand horse owner. I like the idea of having immaculately white-washed horse stalls, with miles and miles of white fence surrounding our property. I’d have groomers and trainers outside all the time, doing the things that they do.

Namely, grooming. And training.

And I would wear my floppy hat and my white gloves to the races, and I would scream encouragement to my horses, who would naturally come from behind to win every single race. I would scream and scream until I was plum hoarse.

(Yes. I just went there with the pun! You’re welcome.)

This afternoon, Cody and I took our peeps to see the new movie, Secretariat, at the cinema. I won’t lie, people. There were times when it was very difficult for me not to stand up right there in the darkened theater and shout a vociferous “WHA HOO!” when Secretariat beat the odds and won the race.

Much like the two elderly women who sat in front of us did. Oh, people! The two little ladies with the blue-white hair made my heart glow, as they sat right there in their seats, clapping at every horse race Secretariat ran on the big screen.

The boy, unfortunately, did not share my love for the movie. He was a bit bored, and whispered to me at one time, “If anyone offered me $8 million for that horse, I would have sold it!”

That’s the stick-with-it, follow-your-dreams sort of thing to do. But Penny Tweety didn’t sell Secretariat for $8 million and look what happened.

Triple Crown, people!

And regardless of the fact that the boy was numb with boredom during the flick, I simply looked at him and whispered two words:

“Last. Airbender.”

Which is otherwise known as the movie which almost did Mama in. And I endured. For the boy. He owed me this afternoon, people!

So the answer is yes.

Yes, run like the wind to see the movie Secretariat. Yes, it’s worth it. Yes, I loved it.

And I’m going to buy myself some lottery tickets for the first time ever, and just see if I can’t make this pipe dream come true!

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