Out of the Mouths of Babes

So Hubs did indeed work all weekend.

While the boy and I played all weekend.

I may have mentioned that.

But what I haven’t mentioned is the funny comment that was a result of all the working that took place this weekend, because kids do indeed say the darnedest things!

All of the new computers and phone lines were officially installed and loaded and networked together shortly before midnight on Sunday. Poor Hubs. He went into Big Business’ building (Love that alliteration!) at precisely 5:30 on Friday night, and, with the exception of a few hours’ worth of sleep that he stole, he came out of Big Business’ building at 11:45 on Sunday night.

If I tried to concentrate on something that long, my brain would simply start to smoke and deep-fry itself. I blame the adult-onset ADD.

And also? If I tried to suck a fifty-gallon drum of Mt. Dew through a straw over the course of a weekend like Hubs did, I would have keeled over from toxic overload. Clearly, mass consumption of Mt. Dew establishes who the hunters are, and who the gatherers are, and I’m happy just being a berry picker, thank you very much.

I have just recently started a Bible study that meets once a month, for the duration of the school year.

(As a side note, I big-puffy-heart-love that Bible study group! We are not afraid to show one another our snot, as we get down to the meat of our issues, and having friends who have seen you blubber into a Kleenex is a good thing. A blessing, if you will.)

The boy’s music teacher from school is none other than my good friend, Stephie V., and she is in this Bible study group with me. Last night, she told me, “I have a great story for you about the boy.”

And indeed she did.

Before school yesterday morning, I told the boy that I had Bible study that night, and that he would be at home with Hubs. And I assured him that Hubs was going to be fantasizing about the sleep after his weekend of nonstop work, and that Hubs would probably go to bed early. Which ultimately meant that the boy could just go to bed early, too.

Because really? Our boy is early to bed and early to rise, and staying up too late means that his little head will spin around in circles on his neck the next day. Going to bed early for the boy on a school night is a GOOD THING.

Apparently, Stephanie V. told the boy at school that she was going to see his mama that night. The boy asked, “Where?’ And she said, “At Bible study.” And then she went on to ask the boy what HE would be doing all night. The boy told her, “Well, I guess my dad and I are going to have a Man Night at home, but this time, I think I’ll probably just be on my own, because Dad will probably be passed out on the sofa before 7:00.”

Stephanie told me, “It sounded like that Hubs of yours was going to be taking a little nap brought on by mixing too much Captain Morgan in his Coke!”

Well then.

And apparently the boy went on to tell a couple other teachers at school that his dad would be passed out early on the sofa.

Yes, people. WE ARE THAT FAMILY! The family where Mama hightails it off to Bible study, while her baby’s daddy is passed out at home on the sofa, leaving the small boy unattended.

Don’t judge us!

Remarkably enough, Hubs was still wide awake and deep in the Bronco game, which he’d begged me to record for him on the DVR while he was immersed in installing new computers over the weekend, when I returned home last night. He said that he just couldn’t sleep properly until he’d seen the Broncos win it huge.

And then…

…there’s even more funny things said by children this week.

I took the kindergartners outside again for PE today, because I am an enormous glutton for punishment. The kindergartners are CONTAINED in the gym. There are walls and doors which keep them in one area, and the distractions are minimal. There’s the big hamper full of volleyballs, and diving into them is about the only thing indoors which successfully manages to rip their attention away from me. Outdoors, I may have mentioned that we have trees! And leaves! And swings! And sand! And rocks! And sticks! And acres and acres to run in and get lost in!

Taking the kindergartners outside for PE clearly sets the hunters apart from the gatherers, and I am brave enough to just bring that brontosaurus down with a crudely-fashioned spear and my own cleverness. Such a task is not for the weak.

The weather was warm and beautiful today, and my other PE classes had very balmy weather while we were outdoors. By the time kindergarten PE rolled around, the clouds had started marching across the sky, and things were getting dark.

But still plenty warm enough to be outside.

One little fellow emphatically announced, “Teacher, those clouds are getting dark, and we NEED to get inside, because a storm is coming!”

I told him that the storm was indeed brewing, but that we had plenty of time to finish PE outside before it hit.

He told me, “Teacher, please! We have to go inside now, because I have two noids about tornadoes, and I just know that a tornado is going to come in that storm, just like it did in Bigger Town this summer, and do you know what tornadoes do, Teacher? They kill you dead and break your house all apart! I have two noids about this, and we have to go inside.”

Two noids?

What’choo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?

I asked him what two noids were. He told me that he had no idea, but that his mom always told him that he had two noids when it came to storms, because he didn’t like tornadoes. He didn’t like them at all!

Because tornadoes can kill you dead break your house all apart.

I asked him, “What are two noids like? What do they look like? Where do you have them?”

He assured me that he had no idea what two noids actually were, but his mom told him that he had them. And if his mama said he had them, then he did!

And because he had two noids, he wanted to go inside.

People, a tornado did indeed hit Bigger Town, USA over the summer, which is a substantial distance from us, and it did indeed destroy a rather large building, so I did understand the small child’s fear. I just hugged him and assured him that we were safe, and that if I saw any tornado on the horizon, we would run for the safety of the school building.

In the meantime, we played our game, and I kept trying to figure out what two noids were.

And, during the entire PE class, this small fry kept insisting that we were all going to be killed dead by the up-coming tornado, and no amount of reassurance from me could calm his little heart.

And I wanted so badly to tell him, “Don’t be so paranoid!”

Light bulb!!!

Halfway through that PE class, I finally got it!

Paranoid. Pair of noids. Two noids.

I asked the little guy, since he was snuggled right up to my side and refused to play the game, so that he would be THE! FIRST! CHILD! to know if we were going to make a mad run for the safety of the building, “Does your mom say that you’re paranoid?”

And he said, “Yes! I told you that! My mom says I have a pair of noids about tornadoes coming, and I don’t even know what two noids are! But, Teacher, tornadoes will kill you dead and smash your house!”

Do you want to hear more? Because, amazingly enough, I have even MORE that came out of the mouths of children today.

My friend, Amy, prays with her girls every morning before they head to school, and this morning she said that her five-year-old prayed out loud and said, “Dear Lord, I just want You to help Mikey (her best girlfriend) grow to be as tall as I am, and please help Mikey be able to color as well as I can, because she needs to be able to stay inside the lines.”

Of course, when Amy told us this, we all burst out laughing, because only five-year-old Brynn would think to pray something like this!

Please help Mikey get taller, and please help Mikey become a better colorer. Amen.

I have actually giggled about this all day long, and then this afternoon, while I was sitting at the library, reading a book while the boy did some research for a project he’s working on for one of his classes, I got to thinking about it even more.

In a spiritual sense.

(Hang on. We’re about to head into Deep Thoughts.)

Brynnie loves Mikey. They’re BFFs. They are two of the most adorable things ever. And Brynn was very concerned that Mikey wasn’t growing tall enough and that she couldn’t color well enough, so Brynn took matters into her own hands and decided to just ask God outright to help Mikey in these areas.

Because Brynnie loves Mikey dearly.

How many times do we, people, pray specifically for OUR FRIENDS who have needs without being asked to do so? Oh, friends ask all the time, “Please help me pray for such-and-such an issue, which I’m facing right now,” and, of course, we do. We’re happy to help out. But how often are we so in tune with our friends, that we see their needs ahead of time, and think about praying specifically for them before we are asked to do so? Or even when we’re never asked to do so? What if we just prayed for God to bless certain friends, in very specific ways, exactly like Brynn did?

Mikey didn’t ask to grow taller, and she didn’t ask to be better at coloring. Brynn just saw a need that her friend apparently had, and she prayed for those needs.

And she prayed very specifically.

Without being asked to do so.

What a blessing she’s going to be to her friends in this life.

So, even though that started out as just a funny comment made by a cute little girl, it’s made me do some deeper thinking this afternoon, and I just want to be one who is aware of the needs of my friends enough that I would think to pray for them, before I was asked to do so. I want to become diligent about honestly praying for blessings for my friends.

And hopefully, in turn, I’ll be blessed with a husband who isn’t passed out on the sofa by 7:00 each night.

I actually have had two noids today about which teachers the boy told this to, because maybe they’ve raised an eyebrow up high over the goings-on at the Jedi Manor.

Because clearly, we are THAT family.

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