Clean Up on Aisle 9

The real world started back up again today.

We had to wear other things than pajamas, as we ventured out into it, too.

I had to make a trip to Wal-Mart today, because when you spend six million dollars on a major grocery haul on Saturday, you’re bound to forget something.  And you’ll remember what you forgot on Monday, when you try to do a load of laundry, and realize that YES!  YES, IT WAS TIDE THAT YOU WANTED!  And then all the laundry gets set aside, even though you had grand and marvelous plans to accomplish every last bit of it on Monday, but NO!  You forgot Tide on Saturday!  And so the laundry cannot be done on Monday.

Bummer.

So the boy and I went back into the enormous shopping center again today.

To get Tide.

And also a prescription at the pharmacy.

And let me tell you, people.  Everyone in Small Town, USA must be feeling the bronchitis and the croup and the consumption, because there were nine (YES!  NINE!) people ahead of us in line, and the line moved about as fast as a ten-year-old boy moves when you shout down the stairs, “Okay!  Shut the TV off and get ready for bed.”

In other words, slowly.  Because ten-year-old boys do not like to trade TV time for bedtime.

Eventually, there were only four people left in front of us, but lo!  There were also eight people behind me then.  And the older gentleman (Dare I say gentleman?) behind me was clearly having some issues with his stomach.  Or perhaps his colon.  Or maybe even his bowels.

And he — um…well…RATHER LOUDLY!  YES!  QUITE LOUDLY! — released some of his tummy/colon/bowel troubles right there.

Right behind me; right there in line at the pharmacy.

At first, my incredibly high level of maturity wanted to burst into hysterical giggles, but then!

I was caught in the AFTERMATH of his tummy/colon/bowel problems, and escape was impossible, if I wanted to keep my spot in  line.

And thus today’s trip to the major shopping center will forever be known as the WORST TRIP TO WAL-MART IN 2011.

And YES!  Yes, I KNOW that it’s only January 3rd.

Our trips to Wal-Mart can only go up from here.

1 thought on “Clean Up on Aisle 9

  1. OMG….seriously brings back a great story. We were standing in the checkout line at the grocery store. My boy looked up at me and pointed at the woman in front of us and LOUDLY said, “That woman just let a big fart, Mom. It really stinks.” I’m not sure who was more embarrassed. Me or the woman…we were both bright red. And yes, he was right. It was horrible.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *