We Stored the Salsa in Containers Meant to Hold Radioactive Material

For the record, the Magic Bullet (after it’s initial flight through the dishwasher to remove fingerprints and sneeze germs that adhered to it on the assembly line during production) has been used.  Hubs made some salsa last night.

My tongue vaporized, leaving a mouthful of ash behind.

I’ve always heard that people who can tolerate the hot and the spicy foods have nerve endings in their tongues that are buried very deeply, while those individuals who are not best friends with the Hot Factor have nerve endings closer to the surface of their tongues.  If this statement holds true, then the nerve endings on MY tongue are exposed to the elements and can actually be found on the OUTSIDE of where they should be.

Because really?  Sometimes ketchup strikes me as being a titch too hot.

Oh, not really.  That’s called an EXAGGERATION.  The ketchup and I are lovely friends.

But barbecue sauces?  Well, they are not all created equal, and some of those leave me gasping and running for the bin of ice cubes.

Hubs did, indeed, proclaim his salsa FANTASTIC last night, after learning that the ratio of one large jar of jalapeno peppers per every half of a tomato is the EXACT RATIO he has been searching for during his entire life of salsa making.  I informed him that he could simply cut out the few tomato chunks and pulverize jalapenos for the same effect.  Hubs insists that the tomatoes add some CHUNK to his salsa.

And then, because we adore and value our son and didn’t want to lose him to a taste of the salsa, Hubs whipped up a milkshake for the small boy.  We didn’t have any ice cream in the freezer, but we had ice cream SANDWICHES.  Hubs threw a couple of those into the Magic Bullet with some milk and blended it all for eight seconds.  The resulting drink was black as sin, and the boy announced, “Oh man, Dad!  This is fantastic!”

So although Hubs does not consider himself to be a cook, he is in love with his Traeger grill (because of fire and meat) and his Magic Bullet (because of whirring machete blades and fiery salsa).  Basically, Hubs can befriend anything that has FIRE or SPINNING BLADES on its resume.

Today also marked the last day of our Beth Moore Bible study on the life of David.  I can honestly say that this has been The. Very.  Best. Bible study I’ve ever done.  I love Beth Moore, and I’m simply six breaths away from donning a black trench coat and Jackie O. sunglasses, driving to Texas, and stalking her, and I’ve done every single Bible study she has to offer.  I’ve always proclaimed them ALL to be my favorite studies, until this one kicked me in the knees and knocked me down with it’s personal learning experiences.   Y’all! This one left my heart a little achy, as I said, “Oh, that’s ME!” throughout the entire eleven-week study.  Sister, Amy and Regs and I have had numerous discussions on the goodness of THIS study, and how yes! Yes, it’s punched all four of us squarely between the eyes with its pure goodness and life applications.  So to say that I was sad to see THIS ONE end is the understatement of the year.

But do you know what I was ACTUALLY RELIEVED to see come to an end?

The movie Letters to Juliet.

It’s true.  I had been wanting to see that one for a while now, so I went into stealth mode and managed to sneak it into our Netflix list with great success.  Go ahead and call me a Navy SEAL; I feel like my mission to bring a chick fick wrapped in a red envelope into our house was a blazing victory.  When it arrived yesterday afternoon in our mailbox, Hubs ripped it open and yelled out, “WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS?!!” After reading the movie description on the paper case, Hubs quickly deduced that it contained no physicist nerds, no guns, no explosions, no fireballs, no mad car chases, no exploding hot water heaters, no alien abductions, and no weapons of any kind.  Naturally, it hit the zero mark on his level of interest, but the big boy was game, and he watched it with me.

The entire show is about a young girl who finds a letter written in 1957 from a broken-hearted girl who wants to know if she should pursue a boy that she likes.  The girl finds the letter in present day time, and she writes back, all those years later, insisting that it is never too late for love, so she and the older woman embark on an adventure together to find Lorenzo Bartolini, who was fifteen years old in 1957.

Hubs was catatonic and completely lethargic through the entire show, up until the point when Lorenzo is found and becomes a character in the film, and then he burst out laughing.  Hubs laughed and he laughed and he laughed, and really?  I could find no reason for it, until Hubs shouted out, “He reminds me of The Most Interesting Man in the World!  You know?  From the commercials for Dos Equis beer!”

And then Hubs howled louder with unstoppable giggles.

As soon as he managed to catch his breath enough to speak, Hubs proceeded to list off quote after quote describing The Most Interesting Man in the World.

“His charm is so contagious, vaccines have been created from it.”

“He speaks perfect French…in Russian.”

“His mother has a tattoo.  It says SON.”

“If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.”

“His organ donor card also lists his beard.”

“His blood smells like cologne.”

“His personality is so magnetic, he is  unable to carry credit cards.”

“He’s a lover, not a fighter.  But he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.”

“He is the life of parties he never attended.”

“People hang on his every word — even the prepositions.”

This went on and on and on, so that hearing all the dialogue in Letters to Juliet was impossible.  And, although I thought the film was cute, I was so relieved when it was over, and Hubs could stop reciting lines from The Most Interesting Man in the World, simply because he thought he resembled Lorenzo Bartolini!

I’m beginning to think that with the Magic Bullet and all the commercial quotes, Hubs watches too much TV.

And yes, it’s true.  Hubs has stopped shaving.  He has taken a stand and claims that he refuses to shave again until the Colorado Avalanche pick up another winning streak.

The next time you see Hubs, ask him if his organ donor card also lists his beard.

And then laugh hysterically.

Happy Tuesday night, y’all.

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