Today It Was 103 Degrees

Today, in Small Town, USA, the temperature outside was equal to that on the equator.

The equator of the sun.

The boy went to science camp all morning, and then I grabbed him and Kellen and their friend, Lea, later this afternoon.  We went in search of three things:  Ice cream, shade and water.

While I sat at a picnic table, trying to read a book as my elbows dripped sweat, the kids climbed trees.  And played in the water.

I’d write more tonight and make a stab at being witty, but it’s really just too hot.  I think I lost WITTY somewhere around OH, LOOK!  YOUR VICTORIA’S SECRET BRA IS FULL OF SWEAT!

So, I’ll just let you look at the pictures from today.

Eventually, the Crocs came off, and Kellen and the boy used them as boats.  Boys will use ANYTHING as boats.  Lea was the official RACE JUDGE, and she disqualified boys right and left, faster than lightning can strike, for giving their Crocs boats little shoves to push them forward just a titch.

Girls do a fantastic job of keeping ten-year-old boys honest.

When the yachts shoes had finished racing in America’s Cup, the boys decided to jump from high places.

Lea had no desire to jump from high things, because Lea knows the definition of Cool.  The boy and Kellen are mistakenly under the impression that jumping off of playground equipment IMPRESSES girls.

Lea assured them with THE LOOK that they were dead wrong.  Sadly, THE LOOK did not register with the boy and Kellen.  I think they’re still under the impression that girls are eventually won over with public displays of burping and enormous vaults off of monkey bars.

And if you can get milk to shoot straight out of your nose with a hearty laugh at the lunch table, you’re considered a Golden Egg to the girl sitting next to you.

Lea also set the two boys straight on an issue that they had at science camp this morning.  It seems that there was a soon-to-be 6th grade girl on the bus with them, and she pinched them both.  Hard.  Wicked hard.  As the boy and Kellen bemoaned her existence and displayed their battle bruises from her, Lea let them know that girls who pinch boys LIKE boys.

The boy looked astounded at this revelation and said, “Well that is probably the worst news I’ve ever heard!”

And then he and Kellen beat their chests like small apes and jumped.

I would not be surprised at all if the pinching had less to do with a young crush than with a well-placed consequence for obnoxious BOY BEHAVIOR.

After 2,933 jumps, we traded the playground equipment and the healthy ditch water for the fountains across town.

And then we did some more jumping.

We followed more jumping with more running, because what we really like to do on a day when the mercury lands with a screech on 103 is RUN.

And then, after all of that — after science camp and yacht Croc racing and tree climbing and jumping, jumping, jumping, and running, running, running, we played another baseball game tonight.

Hubs and I sat on the metal bleachers, and we melted.

And then we went home, where everyone had ice for dinner.

The end.

 

1 thought on “Today It Was 103 Degrees

  1. Girl… you don’t know heat until there is 99% humidity with it! And I can so relate to the sweat-filled Victoria Secret bra… which is why I stopped wearing one on day three of CR Vacay.
    And I love how cool Lea looks standing there to the right while the silly boys jump!!! Hilarious!
    Oh … and I love blog posts with pictures.

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