I am usually rather timely.
Timely in the sense that I hate being late for a movie, because I miss the previews of upcoming shows, and timely in the sense that I really do know that L’eggs pantyhose in Suntan are a fashion trend that is best left behind us.
However, I’m pretty sure that I threw the timely ball down the foul baseline and over the fence on the Bike-A-Thon that the boy participated in.
It was on July 9th.
Which is, you know, almost an entire month ago.
I wish that I had a goat that I could blame, but we’re not a goat-owning family because of INSIDE CITY LIMITS and because of HE WILL EAT YOUR SNEAKERS. So really? I have to just stand tall and say, “Yep. I pretty much FORGOT the Bike-A-Thon pictures on my camera.”
Forgetting things, along with an eyeball lens that won’t focus, a Tom Selleck mustache, and an overwhelming desire to watch Murder She Wrote and The Price is Right while your legs are covered with a multi-striped afghan, are part of the aging process.
So our pastor, Pastor John, is heading to Egypt this fall to help spread the Gospel message and pose for a photograph in front of the Great Pyramids with his hands held out, so that the snapshot will look like he’s HOLDING the massive triangular structure that is sitting in the background.
Sitting in the background, firmly on the sand.
And not in Pastor John’s hand.
To raise money for this upcoming trip, our church held a Bike-A-Thon, because Pastor John is an avid pedaler.
The grown-ups who participated in the Bike-A-Thon went on a fifteen-mile-round-trip jaunt that took them on a picturesque journey. The kids who pounded the pavement to get pledges for the fundraiser rode laps around our church, while the adults were gone. Everyone had two hours in which to accomplish their riding.
The boy clipped on his helmet, and he was ready to Ride for Dollars.
Because I think the answer is no.
And some of them took breaks to swing on the playground, because it’s always good to give your legs a rest.
On a bike.
Riding in circles.
We all had a good chuckle while we were watching Brynn, because she had the eye of the tiger. She was determined to ride like she was Lance Armstrong. AND, I know for a fact BECAUSE I SAW IT, she had some pink lip gloss in that Barbie bike bag for any fashion emergencies that might have come up. Plus, she had a magic marker, in case she needed to take notes. Or write up a grocery list.
Sweet Erin had JUST! LEARNED! to ride her bike without training wheels. As in, HOURS BEFORE the biking event took place. She was a little reluctant to start solo, so her mama (my adorable friend, Robin) gave her a tiny push from behind.
This was Megan getting shot with water!
Hollywood was going strong.
Good heavens, but the boy kicked his mental game into high gear. He was Rocky Balboa on a bike.
When she was done with 68 laps, Brynn (who hasn’t even started kindergarten yet, and who rode SIXTY-EIGHT LAPS!) threw in the towel and called it a morning. She was spent, and she needed some lip gloss out of her Barbie bag.
He had ten minutes left, and he wanted to push for 100 laps, so he kicked his exhausted legs into overdrive.
And then Pastor John and the rest of the big people returned, all sweaty and red-faced after their fifteen-mile ride. Pastor John rode with the boy for the last leg of his journey.
This is his victory picture.
And the grown-ups only rode FIFTEEN MILES.
On top of all of that, the boy had ridden his bike from our house to the church (which is right at a mile and a half), and then he rode home AFTER the Bike-A-Thon (which was another mile and a half).
Nineteen miles on his bike that day.
Afterward, everyone who participated in the Bike-A-Thon stayed at the church for lunch.
And Gatorade, so that all of their electrolytes could be replenished.
And then the boy finally (FINALLY!) got to try the crazy little car out. He had been eyeballing all the other kids riding in it while he was doing his laps, but he was determined to finish the competition with the most laps, so he refused to take a break for the entire two hours.
Even Lance Armstrong waits until the Tour is over before he goes for a spin in the Krazy Kar.
We have it on good authority that the boys made $14 in profits that night, because low! Sales were apparently good at the lemonade table.
We also have it on good authority that they ordered $16 worth of Jimmy John’s sandwiches, which were delivered to their lemonade stand. Back in our day, Hubs and I did not have a cell phone sitting with us at our roadside business ventures, so that we could call for a dinner delivery.
The times, they have changed.
Hubs and I think that these boys need to learn some math facts, because $14 minus $16 equals YOUR PARENTS WILL FLOAT THE REST.
The cute neighbor boy’s sweet mama put $2 on their bill.
Happy Thursday night, y’all.