The Post In Which I Take You From One Topic To Another Without a Seatbelt

Hubs opened all the windows in our house last night, right before he went to bed.

Which was AFTER I went to bed.  Otherwise, had I been awake, with fully functioning gray matter, I would have closed all the windows, because HELLO!

Small Town, USA + Mid-September = A Bit Freezy at Night.

It’s a simple math equation, actually.  Even a Jedi’s mother can tackle that one, without a ruler OR the calculator embedded in her iPhone.

I cannot even put into words how cold our house was at 6:15 this morning, when I got up.  All I can say is, “Dear friends in Texas, I would like to bottle up and send the frigid morning air INSIDE OF MY HOUSE, of all places, to y’all this evening, because I know you have been suffering from the intense heat put out by the ball of flames in the sky, and your poor state is on fire with all the burning.  Rest assured, I thought of y’all today when I used the hairdryer to warm up from all the FIFTY-SEVEN DEGREES!  FIFTY-SEVEN DEGREES! inside of our house.”

Yes.  And indeed.

I went from a hot shower, to holding the blow dryer against myself, to cranking the HEAT on in the Suburban when I drove the boy to school, and my toes still hadn’t thawed out.

Hubs announced that I may be a titch HIGH MAINTENANCE, but that statement was slapped down when he was still in bed, beneath the quilts.  When he made his way to the bathroom this morning, he said, “Wow!  It feels like living in a log cabin on the prairie, doesn’t it?”

Yes, Pa Ingalls, it does.  Now go chip the layer of ice off the pond and boil some water for my coffee.

Also, you have no idea how happy I am that Modern Family swept the floors and pretty much took it all last night at the Emmy’s, because MY WORD!  Hubs and I do love that show.  I think the reason it’s such an enormous hit at Casa del Jedi is simply this:

People, Hubs IS Phil Dunphy.  Even HE sees it.  And sometimes we feel like that boy of ours is Luke, especially in an episode from last season, where Phil and Claire were talking about Luke being so much like Phil, and how Claire was worried (JUST! WORRIED!) that no one would ever grow up to marry her son. Phil said, “Honey, somewhere there is a little girl making a list and labeling bins, and Luke will find her.”

I rest in that thought.

Somewhere there really IS a little girl making lists and labeling bins and alphabetizing her books, and our boy will find her, and she will bring order to the small fact that our boy wouldn’t even be able to find a pen in his bedroom to make a list with if he had to.

And then, for lunch today, Hubs and I grabbed Jimmy John’s sandwiches, because they make us VERY HAPPY, and we hightailed it across town, so that we could eat with the boy at his school.

I would like to go on record and state that the lunch served in the cafeteria today looked EXACTLY LIKE the steaming loaf of hair and gooey cat food and total ugliness that Cat 1 threw down on my dining room floor this morning, after a dramatic heave and gag that would have scored her any leading role with the Varsity Drama Team.  The boy’s friend Bek was the only boy in the midst who actually bought a lunch at school today, and he sighed and said, “This isn’t very good.”  Without batting an eye, I boldly said, “Bek, it’s because the cooks scraped that off the floor of the dog and cat shelter this morning, and then they threw it on some corn chips for you.”  And then, with every ounce of goodness inside of my soul, I wished that I had brought an extra sandwich from Jimmy John’s for Bek.

Yes, there’s a high-quality iPhone snapshot of the 5th grade Wolf Pack.  Bek blinked.  The boy’s mouth is full of chewed sandwich.  Patrick couldn’t look more bored with that milk carton if he tried.  With one carrot, Quinn turned Kellen into a unicorn, and Enzo just wanted to HURRY UP WITH THE PHOTO, ALREADY because KICKBALL WAS WAITING FOR HIM ON THE PLAYGROUND!

And the other thing?

Well, I actually sat on the sofa in the family room with Hubs yesterday, and I watched the Broncos play some football.  And I think I amazed Hubs when I asked, “What?!  Tim Tebow plays more positions than just QUARTERBACK?!  I had no idea!”

Hubs looked at me and asked, “Have you been living under a rock?!  How on earth did I end up with you?!”

I think it’s because I’m cute.  And because I made lists, Hubs.  And I labeled bins.  AND YOU FOUND ME!  And the rest is a Happily Ever After, straight from Walt Disney…

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