Christmas Day

That boy of ours still feels rather puny tonight.  I decided to take him to see his pediatrician, because of PUKING and FEVER and CRYING OVER A SORE EAR and SLEEPING IN THE DAYLIGHT HOURS.  Dr. B checked the boy out and announced, “Sinus infection; ugly eardrums.  You’re getting some antibiotics.”

And that is how we came to have the pink stuff.  A couple of teaspoonfuls of that every day, and we’re destined to be better soon, which is a good thing, because the boy has moaned and whined that HIS CHRISTMAS VACATION IS BEING WASTED BECAUSE OF SICK!  SICK!  SICK!

So tonight, after dealing with all the germs around here for two days, and wiping things down with Clorox wipes, I have a whole lot of snapshots to share with y’all from our Christmas Day.

And then I have very few words tonight, which should be a relief, because sweet mercy!  I can get a bit wordy sometimes.

(I don’t know where I get it.)

Our Christmas Day started early.  As in VERY EARLY, because the boy waltzed into our bedroom at precisely 1:37 in the morning and shouted out, “Merry Christmas, guys!  Let’s open presents!”  Oh, to be eleven years old again!  I think it goes without saying that the boy’s mama shuffled him back to bed.  She may or may not have snarled a bit at him, too.

Welcome, O Christmas Morning!  Mama’s got the grouchies!

By 2:30 that morning, the boy had finally fallen back asleep, and so did I.  And the next time we saw that kid of ours, it was precisely 6:03, according to my digital bedside clock.  The boy was rubbing my arm, which was hanging out of the bed, because I was conked out cold and dreaming that I was trying to start an old school bus by pushing it down a steep hill and popping the clutch.

Don’t even begin to ask me WHERE I got THAT dream, because listen.  I have started a vehicle in that manner exactly zero-point-zero times in my life, and I’m not even sure that it would EVEN OCCUR TO ME to try starting a car that way, if I was sitting in one atop a large hill and couldn’t get it started by turning the key.

But yes.

6:03, and the boy was rubbing my arm and whispering, “Mom?  Mom, it really is an acceptable time to get up now.”

And thus it was.

Hubs and I shuffled into the living room, where we discovered that INDEED!  The fat man in the red suit had actually stopped by our house sometime while we were all sleeping, even though NO ONE HAD THOUGHT to leave him a slice of rum cake on a plate.

Oh, yes.  We fed his reindeer by whipping up a batch of black-pepper-laced oatmeal and powdered sugar, but we thought not of the sleigh’s driver.  I’m surprised he didn’t turn around and crawl back up our chimney without leaving anything behind but chunks of coal.

Yes, it’s still pitch black outside.

What part of 6:03 in the morning did you not understand?

To the boy’s great delight, there were wrapped packages containing BRAND NEW LEGO SETS!

And Santa saw fit to stuff the new digitally-remastered, blue-ray Star Wars DVDs into his stocking.  All six episodes are represented on those discs, for hours and hours of television entertainment.

There was also a Willy Wonka chocolate bar in the boy’s stocking.  Sadly, it contained no golden ticket.

And, much to the boy’s ENORMOUS DELIGHT, Santa Claus left him a game camera.  Most people use game cameras in the mountains to see where the deer and elk are walking around at, so that when hunting season rolls around, they’re prepared.  Our boy wanted a game camera so that he could strap it to a tree and keep his fingers crossed that Sasquatch walked in front of it.

So far, all that the boy has done with the camera is strap it to the dining room table.  We have loads of snapshots of the cats being very, very naughty now while we have been gone.  I’ve told the kitties that we now have enough photographic evidence to prosecute them for unsolved crimes, and that Hubs is going to take them both for a ride in his truck.

A ride that involves a burlap bag, a large rock, and a trip to the river.

Oh, I jest, people.  We’re responsible pet owners who do our level best to teach those cats manners and share Jesus with them.  There will be no trips in the truck.

Not yet, anyway.

Also?

The game camera is powered by TEN DOUBLE A BATTERIES.  I’m wondering if hooking it up to a Suburban battery might not be cheaper.

Of course, mounting it to a tree while it’s dangling a battery the size of a thick cinder block may become a bit of a chore.

By 7 AM, the Lego building had commenced on Christmas morning.

Eventually the Jedi Family showered and got dressed, so that we could hop on over to Mam and Pa’s house for Christmas breakfast and EVEN MORE presents.  Sister and her family joined us.

Little H wanted HER Christmas breakfast, too, so the boy was happy to oblige her.  To say that our boy loves his newborn cousin is the understatement of the year.  That kid is CRAZY NUTS about that baby!

After she was fed, Little H was full of yawns and stretches while Sister cuddled her.

Our boy has been wanting a genuine record player for months and months now.  He is fascinated with ALL THINGS OLD, and the record player has captured his fancy.

On Christmas morning, Mam and Pa delivered.  They had managed to find him a MADE-TO-LOOK-REALLY-OLD record player that is so modernized, it plays vinyl, cassettes, CDs, AM and FM radio and an iPod Touch.  It goes without saying that the boy was HEAD OVER HEELS excited about that record player!  He was thrilled.

Cousin L was pretty excited about her gifts, too.

And so was Cousin K.

Later on Christmas morning, we squeezed everyone onto Mam and Pa’s sofa for some group pictures.

Look!  All four of the cousins together!

And there’s the COMPLETED family of five again, since Sister and Sister’s Husband brought Little H home.

And look!  It’s the entire Jedi Family!  Mama actually got out from BEHIND the camera, so that someone else could capture her family on a digital memory card.

And then Mam and Pa posed on the sofa with The Herd.

Later on Christmas afternoon, Hubs and the boy and I hugged everyone good-bye at my parents’ house.  We loaded ourselves up into the Suburban, and we drove twenty miles out to Small Mountain Town, so that we could spend Christmas afternoon and evening with Hubs’ side of the family.

It goes without saying that I took a bunch of pictures out there, too.  It’s what I do, people.  I snap the camera.

This year, Cousin H and Cousin R were missing, because they were gone for Christmas.  It was the first time EVER that we had some cousins missing for the annual SOFA SNAPSHOT.  But, we got B, W, Miss A, the boy and M to smile SOMEWHAT nicely for the Canon camera.

(Except who knows WHAT Cousin M is doing there on the end!  I believe that it was his TOUGH GUY face.)

Cousin B was ready for Present Opening 2011 to begin.

And so was Cousin Dub-ya.   Just look at his sweet grin!

And there’s Cousin M, who was EXTREMELY HAPPY that it was FINALLY Christmas Day!

And of course Miss A smiled sweetly.  Girls seldom ruin your snapshot by funny gangster poses.

And then there’s our boy.

And then Grammy and Papa fired the starting gun, and the present-opening began!

Brother and Brother’s Wife gave the boy a book on HOW TO HUNT FOR BIG FOOT, along with a Sasquatch ornament for our Christmas tree.  Do they know the boy, or what?!  For the record, our boy loathes the reading — we have to FORCE HIM and THREATEN HIM to get his required reading minutes in every week for school.  But over Christmas break, he has — without any forcing or threats! — sat down to read through his book on how to begin your hunt for the big-footed beast.

And also?

I would just like to say that even I flipped through the book on hunting Big Foot, and I laughed out loud (actually made barking laughter noises for all to hear!) as I read a sentence that tells the book’s reader, “You may not want to discuss your hunts for Big Foot at your place of employment.  Doing so could mean that you’ll be passed up for promotions or even fired.  Some people don’t understand the importance of proving the beast exists.”

Oh, sweet mercy!

I told Hubs to quit talking about the Yeti at work, because he may not be promoted.  Hubs replied, “I OWN the business; I may just give myself a promotion FOR BELIEVING!”

Have I ever told y’all how dear Hubs is to me?

I love that man!

Even Brother and Brother’s Wife smiled nicely for the camera on Christmas Day.

Sometimes Christmas presents are so blasted BIG, boys have to actually STAND ON THE LEATHER SOFA in order to open them.  Excitement over the boxes’ contents will do that to boys!

And what was in W’s and B’s enormous boxes?

LONGBOARDS!

And then there’s our boy, who has a passion for ALL THINGS OLD AND ANTIQUE.  In addition to a record player, he has been jammering on and on this year about OH MY WORD!  HE’D LOVE SO MUCH TO HAVE A 100-YEAR-OLD TYPEWRITER!

Do you know how difficult it is to find a typewriter that was made in the late 1800s?

It’s as hard as capturing a non-blurry snapshot of Big Foot.

But listen, people!  Hubs’ parents took a little trip across the United States early this fall, and they stopped in an antique store far, far away from Small Town, USA, and guess what they found sitting on a shelf there?

An old black typewriter, from 1903.

The typewriter was an enormous hit with the boy, and all the kids took turns pounding on the vintage keys to type notes to one another throughout the evening.

The boy and Cousin B had a merry Christmas, for sure.  The two of them are such good buddies.

Of course, Cousin M and the boy are good buddies, too.  And here they were, smiling with their mouths full of  Christmas dinner.

So yeah.

I’d say that our little family had a fantastic Christmas this year, people.

One of my favorite gifts this year was a bluetooth earpiece to use with my iPhone.  Hubs and the boy gave it to me, and this is exactly what they told me when I unwrapped it:

“Well, we know how you get a kink in your neck when you talk on the phone and try to do things, so you’re always sitting down on the sofa for your long-winded phone calls with all of your girlfriends.   With this bluetooth earpiece, you can talk to Mika and Sister and Christy and Theresa FOR HOURS AND HOURS and you can still get all the housework done while you’re doing it!”

Bless those two boys.

They’re always thinking ahead and looking out for me.

And let’s face it.  I plum lied about having VERY FEW WORDS tonight.  What I ended up giving y’all was a whole lot of pictures, and a whole lot of paragraphs, even though I promised to go lightly on the writing part.  I get carried away sometimes.  Forgive me.

Happy Thursday night, people.

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