I’m sitting here at the computer tonight, regretting my fashion choice for the day with enough regrets to fill the Grand Canyon.
And maybe even three times.
On Christmas Eve, Mika wore an INCREDIBLE HEADBAND to our Candlelight Service. The capital letters of INCREDIBLE HEADBAND are important, because I need to emphasize that INDEED! That headband took Mika straight to the pinnacle of Hair Glory, which we had to be careful about, what with us being at church to celebrate the birth of our Savior and all. Yes, Mika was experiencing very possibly the best hair evening of her entire life, but we weren’t there to light candles for her hair, because, no matter HOW GOOD IT WAS, Mika’s Hair Moment of Glory wasn’t going to be birthed in a barn and placed in a manger and called our Savior.
The INCREDIBLE HEADBAND was made of metal, with a giant silver flower right on the side of her head. That flower sparkled in the candlelight that evening, and I was mesmerized. So I simply asked her later, “WHERE? Where can I secure THAT headband for myself, and thus end the year of 2011 being a Copy Cat?” And Mika told me exactly where to buy one.
So yesterday, I used Hubs’ hard-earned money, and I went shopping. (It’s because I’d already spent MY hard-earned money.) And I couldn’t find an INCREDIBLE HEADBAND that was exactly like Mika’s, but what I found…
…(Wait for it!)…
…SURPASSED Mika’s headband!
Oh, people! The metal headband that I managed to snag at the little shop in the city was ever-so-very-much-MORE darling than Mika’s is. I threw out the debit card, and I bought the shiny metal headband with the sparkly DIFFERENT flower on it, which was adorned with faux gemstones and MUCH BLING!
And this morning? Well, I could hardly wait to get up and blow dry my hair, and use all the hair products that boys have never had to become slaves to, so that I could put that MORE FANTASTIC HEADBAND into my mane.
Well, I was a vision of beauty and grace, and my hair was ON FIRE with ALL THE WONDERMENT that only an AMAZING HAIR DAY can bring.
I skipped out of the house, knowing that I was cute, and I headed off to my bright-and-early manicure appointment, where I also shelled out some more of Hubs’ hard-earned money, because I had already spent mine.
And even some of his.
All in the name of keeping the economy afloat and turning this recession around in 2012, because I am patriotic.
Patriotic AND the girl with the good nails!
Naturally, the gal who does my nails told me that INDEED! And wow! She LOVED and ADORED my MORE FANTASTIC THAN MIKA’S HEADBAND! And where did I get it? Because sweet mercy! She thought it was darling! Just darling!
Of course, I expected nothing less, and I did tell her where she could secure such metallic, bling-adorned cuteness, all for the affordable price of $14.99.
And do you know what $14.99 of cuteness will bring to a girl?
It will bring your pride to a crashing fall, because I think that I totally forgot this morning that Jesus is NOT IMPRESSED with us thinking we are marvelous through the successes of a sincerely wonderful hair day. Jesus has asked us to be… you know… humble. And meek. And to also not be filled with pride, no matter how fantastic our hair turns out.
Halfway through my manicure this morning, I realized that GOODNESS! And UGH! The metal headband was actually SQUEEZING MY HEAD and creating great pain. I used my wet nails to readjust things, and the gal shouted, “YOUR NAILS ARE WET!”
Yes. Yes, they were wet, but at that point, I would have used a fully-operational blowtorch on my hairsprayed head, if that had been the ONLY THING to adjust the HEADBAND OF DEATH with.
And yes… I wore that beautiful, head-killing, migraine-giving metal headband all day long, because I was OUT! Out and about, and I wasn’t headed home! And when I taught PE this afternoon, one of the other teachers commented about how sassy and cute my MORE FANTASTIC THAN MIKA’S HEADBAND was, and I snapped and said, “It’s the height of evil! I’m going to throw it in the fire when I get home, to melt it down and make bullets for our country’s soldiers.”
Later this afternoon, the boy and I stopped by Sister’s house, because it had been forty-eight hours since we had held her new baby, and that’s too long. And of course Sister took one look at me and said, “Your headband! It’s so stinking cute!”
Yes. It’s cute. And sometimes a girl must suffer some pain after she’s decided she looks fantastic.
And that, people, is what happens to a girl who is inflated with pride.