Six-Oh-Two And It’s Nothing Glamorous

So.

According to the little blog post counter that I have, I have hit 602 posts here at Jedi Mama, Inc.  I’d like to say that I actually NOTICED when the 500s rolled themselves over to an even 600, but I did not.

I can notice a comma that is out of place on a billboard.

I can tell just by looking at an eleven-year-old boy from across the room whether he has brushed his teeth or not.

But I fail to notice blogging milestones.

And also?

I woke up at 4:00 this morning.

Actually, it was 4:09 when I woke up, so technically it WASN’T 4:00.  I woke up because Cat 2 decided to chew her claws, which is something she does on full moons and the twenty-fourth day of each new year.  And if you don’t think that it sounds exactly like someone dumped a brown paper sack full of screws straight into the garbage disposal and flipped the switch, then you aren’t thinking at all.

Because y’all?  THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE.

I slapped the side of the bed.  CRUNCH.  CRUNCH.

I threw a pillow.  There was some skittering and a screech, and I breathed a sigh of relief, because she was out of our bedroom and sitting in the hall.  CRUNCH.  CRUNCH.

I got out of bed and did my HI-YAH! karate move in the air which is really quite cool and looks exactly like what Ralph Macchio did in the first Karate Kid movie.  Other than dislocating my elderly hip, my high-air kick and one-two punch did no good.  CRUNCH.  CRUNCH.

And so I grabbed my pillows, and I went to the sofa, where I laid awake and stared at the ceiling until 6:00 in the morning.

And then I took a shower and faced the day, and here’s what they DON’T prepare you for in college:

KINDERGARTEN PE.

Kindergarten PE makes me crave wine, because NO ONE CAN TIE THEIR SHOES, and WHY DON’T MAMAS SEND VELCRO SHOES TO KINDERGARTEN WHEN THEY KNOW THAT THEIR CHILDREN CANNOT MAKE RABBIT EARS AND TIE THEM IN A BOW?  And also because it’s only in kindergarten PE that someone says, “I have a booger on my finger,” and “Can you unzip my pants?  I have to go potty, and my mom made me wear these jeans with the hard zipper in them today.”

So yes.  Kindergarten PE makes me crave the wine.

In Hubs’ enormous 64-ounce insulated mug with the local convenience store logo on it.

So really?  Even though this is the six-hundred-and-second blog post here at Jedi Mama, Inc., I really do need to head to bed, because I’m afraid that I’ll just sit here and type a bunch of noise.

CRUNCH.  CRUNCH.

We’ll see you back here tomorrow night, and hopefully Cat 2 will be in a full body-mount on the fireplace by then.

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