The Post With All the BORING and the UNWITTY Because of SICK! SICK! SICK!

What I’d really like to do is stay upright long enough to actually write something, but listen.  What I DIDN’T tell you about our weekend last night is simply this:  I spent it in bed because of HOLY COW!  And HOW SICK CAN A MAMA GET?

Oh, yes, ma’am.

I did.

I woke up Saturday morning with so much sinus pressure, I felt like I’d tied a hefty rock to my belt and plunged on down beneath the ocean to check out the Titanic in person.  My head felt like it was going to pop.  Of course, when your head feels like that and you have two eleven-year-old boys playing a game of laser tag in the house, you sort of feel like you’re at the spa, sipping champagne and having rose oil rubbed into your temples while soft, classical music plays in the background.

And later on Saturday, the sinus migraine collapsed me, so I just put on my pajamas at 3:00 in the afternoon and crawled into bed.  And then I listened to all the building of the Lego pirate ships that went down in the boy’s bedroom next to mine.  And then I listened to the sound effects that Ben and the boy produced while they fired Lego cannons at one another.  And then I listened to more of the laser tag game.

And when I got up at 8:00 on Sunday morning, some seventeen entire hours after I’d crawled into bed in the first place, I felt like a new woman.

A new woman with the same old sinus pressure.  But at least I was UPRIGHT and MOBILE on Sunday, which I hadn’t been the previous afternoon while I was reveling in a day spent in bed at the spa.

And now?  Tonight?

Well, people, the yuck and the muck that created the sinus issues in the first place are all draining SOUTH.

South and straight into my chest.  I sound like I’ve just eaten a bowl of gravel for dinner, and I have managed to expel major internal organs with all the coughing.

And also?  I may be filing for divorce tomorrow morning, because Hubs took one look at the condition of our laundry pile today — after I had been trying to keep my head from exploding all weekend by loafing around in bed — and said, “Remind me again.  What day does our maid come?  I hope you didn’t pay her this week, because she didn’t do any  laundry, and I have run out of decent jeans to wear.”

I went ahead and texted my darling friend, Peggy, who works at The Big Law Firm, and told her to just open a new file for me.

And then I told her to label it THE DAY JEDI HUBS POKED A BEAR.

So now I’m off to have a little NyQuil cocktail, people, so that I can get some sleep without all the coughing, because HAVE YOU HEARD?

We have some laundry issues that need my attention first thing tomorrow morning, so Mama had better rest up.

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