If I told you all about my day today, you wouldn’t need to take an Ambien tonight.
It’s because I worked today. And I picked the boy up from school. And I took the boy to piano lessons. And then I raced into the city to buy a baby gift for Sister, because some friends of ours were throwing a baby shower for Sister tonight. Poor time management skills on my part (I blame Words With Friends and Pinterest for that!) meant that I didn’t have a gift in a timely fashion. And then I zipped back to collect the boy from piano lessons. And then we raced off to buy crickets for Toad and Frog, because the amphibians do enjoy a decent meal around here. And then we drove to the UPS store (Do y’all call it a store? Because that term seems wrong. What else would you call it, though? The UPS Place?) to pick up a package. And then we boogied back home, where Hubs cooked dinner. (Which is to say that it was Hubs’ turn to order Jimmy John’s sandwiches on the iPad. Oh, technology! You are so beautiful to me!) And then I literally pushed an entire #12 sandwich in with the heel of my hand in sixty seconds. And then I dashed off to Sister’s baby shower. They had very yummy meatballs there, which made me regret my #12 Beach Club dinner option. But I ate the meatballs anyway. And also drank three glasses of sherbet-laced punch. And then I felt like Winnie the Pooh, when he found himself stuck in Rabbit’s doorway. So Sister pushed from behind, and Mam pulled my arms in the front, and POP! I sprung right out of the house, and then I came home, and told Hubs, “I’m too tired to put up a blog post tonight! I’m going to bed!” It’s because I’m elderly, and I needed my Ensure nightcap and the pillow. And Hubs threw down the white glove of challenge by saying, “Oh… You’re neglecting the blog again, huh?” And the guilt made me roll my eyes and get right up off the bed to fire up the Big Mac (which is no longer a shout-out to McDonald’s because listen, McDonald’s, you irritate me with your pink slime!) and write something memorable for February 9th, twenty-twelve.
And I don’t think I’ve created ANYTHING memorable in these few sentences, and it’s already 9:00 in the DARK HOURS, which means that my bedtime has come and flown by, and my Ensure and Geritol Plus Iron tablet are still sitting on my nightstand.
So I’ll just end things here, before y’all start referring to Jedi Mama, Inc. as the Tylenol PM of blogs. The blog that helps you get to sleep faster.
And I’ll leave you with this little picture, because it made me laugh. We do appreciate the Star Wars humor around here. (Not that I always understand the Star Wars humor, because really? I don’t even know the name of Luke’s home planet. The Star Wars Fan Club has barred me from membership. Which really? That’s just as disappointing as the small fact that Hubs and the boy have barred me from watching Hunting Big Foot with them in the family room, because I tend to say things like, “Oh… I’m SURE this is the episode where they finally bag the tall monkey with a well-paced tranquilizer dart after downing an entire bottle of homemade moonshine.” Apparently Hubs and the boy don’t like me trash-talking high-quality television entertainment.)
Have a great weekend, people.