The Post Where I Jump Ship Early Just To Go To Bed. Just Call Me Me-Maw.

So.

The blog WAS down for the entire evening last night, but that’s because Hubs was doing some maintenance at Jedi Mama, Inc.  You know… he checked the air filters and topped off the fluid levels and asked me if I’d like some popcorn, exactly like maintenance is done at the local oil-changing center.

Except THOSE FELLOWS always insist that my Suburban is going to explode RIGHT-THIS-VERY-SECOND if I don’t spend $49.99 on a new filter, and Hubs assures me that it’s nothing short of highway robbery, because I have AT LEAST another two hundred miles before the spontaneous combustion begins.  And when I tell the fellows at the oil shop that, they raise one eyebrow and seem to say, “Well then.  May the odds be forever in your favor, because this filter is looking like a death wish.”  But you know what?  I always walk out of there with my $49.99 still tucked safely inside of my checkbook, and the Suburban is still going forward.

Of course, it goes forward SLOWLY, but that’s how the elderly drive these days anyway.

And I think this is where we pause and simply ask, “So?  Ramble much?”

Because the answer is yes.  I think I actually do just type words into sentences like I’m half-baked and wearing my fuzzy bathrobe and slippers at the local institution on fish sticks night.

No matter.

Y’all, that is a lot of nonsense just to tell you that I know the blog was down, but Hubs was very busy fixing things behind the scenes which involved HTML codes and binary phrases, and all of that stuff just gives me a headache.  Around here, I write the nonsense, and Hubs makes sure that the nonsense appears on your computer screens.  It’s all I need to know, because I’m simply overwhelmed with what goes on over at the dashboard of Jedi Mama, Inc.  It’s the hub of Willie Wonka’s factory, when all I really want is the final chocolate product.

Sleep deprivation will mess up your ability to write coherently.  Have I mentioned that before?

Thing 2 continues to be extraordinarily cute, and we’re moving into three-hour shifts at night these days, which is certainly on the up and up from our original ninety MINUTE shifts.  And my insomnia has cured itself, people.  I realized this one afternoon last week, when I was browsing the pharmacy section at the Walmart super center, looking for saline solution to rehydrate my dry contact lenses.  And there, not four feet away from me, was the germ-coated public blood pressure machine, and I suddenly had the thought that if I sat down there and sort of rested my head on the inflatable cuff, I could probably sleep until next Friday.  And THAT realization made me decide that Thing 2 was the cure for insomnia, and THAT is something to sing praises about.

And yes, we had a busy weekend.

And by busy, I mean that we used our home as a hotel in the evenings for all the NON-SLEEPING that was being done by the grown-ups who live here.  Our kitchen was the little motel kitchenette where the bottle magic happened and Similac was mixed and administered.  And then we were plum gone and away from the house the entire rest of the weekend with our boys.

And the maids never saw the sign hanging on our front doorknob that said PLEASE CLEAN THIS JOINT UP AND MAKE IT SMELL LIKE CLOROX AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE FLOORS, WHICH ARE STARTING TO RESEMBLE THE STABLE THAT JESUS WAS BORN IN.

Because the answer is yes.  And the question is, “Do you have dust bunnies?” 

Our dust bunnies just happen to be sixteen-pound animals with fangs and appetites, and things are getting a little out of control.

Anyway.

Both the boy and Thing 2 are sound asleep at the moment, and I simply can’t waste precious minutes like that stringing verbs and nouns together to tell you that the boy got 2nd place IN OUR ENTIRE STATE (Insert bold exclamation points here — !!) in a little competition this weekend and that I was not a fan of The Hunger Games deep down in my heart where morality and the issues of right and wrong live, even though the rest of the world (the boy included) is completely jazzed and on fire with all the praise-singing for that little cinematic flick.

And TOMORROW is when I’ll tell y’all about it.

Happy Monday night, people.

2 thoughts on “The Post Where I Jump Ship Early Just To Go To Bed. Just Call Me Me-Maw.

  1. Hey congrats guys, that new bundle could not have happened to better people. I knew of your blog but never really read it – one word: INCREDIBLE. Hope all is well in the big city. Take care and hope to see ya soon.

    Thomas A.

  2. Okay…you just came up with one of my favorite, new phrases — “half-baked and wearing my fuzzy bathrobe and slippers at the local institution on fish sticks night”. Sleep deprivation is making you even more witty! Happy Napping!

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