This is me:
Been there. Done that. Don’t judge me.
Sadly, Hubs has no problem whatsoever with the little lines that tell him he has, perhaps, misspelled a word. I don’t even know how the two of us ever got together, other than the fact that HOLY SMOKES! WAS HE EVER CUTE WHEN I FIRST SAW THAT FELLOW!
And then last night, Hubs announced, “The very best thing about being up with Thing 2 in the middle of the night is that I can cook a roast at any time of the day now!” And with that he dropped a pork roast the size of a VW Beetle into a pot, added enormous cans of peppers in a nuclear waste sauce, threw it into my oven and went to bed. At 2:00 this morning, he got up, took his pork roast out of the oven, and spent an hour shredding it, with grease and lip-melting, toxic byproducts dripping down his chin, and he said exactly twenty-nine times, “OH MY GOSH! I have outdone myself with this one!”
And then, while I was feeding a bottle to Thing 2 in the dead of the night, Hubs came in and whispered, “I can’t feel my lips, which is a good thing. And do you know what would be so cool? A sausage that was as big around as a large, metal garbage can. Of course, we’d need an elephant’s stomach to do the casing, and I don’t know where to get one of those. What do you think the circus does with their main attraction when he’s old and looking close to death?”
People want to be me, because Hubs is so amazing.
It makes my desire to add some words to the Microsoft Word dictionary seem sort of UN-nerdy, actually.
Y’all have a good weekend. Hubs will be eating a whole lot of spicy meat here at the Jedi Manor all weekend, and I’ll be wiping up grease off of the kitchen counters all weekend.