If You’re Looking For Excitement, This Is Not The Place For You Tonight. This Boring Post Is A Complete Waste Of Good Internet Space.


I’ve stared at a blank blog page for quite some time.

Which isn’t entirely true, because after a minute of realizing, “What?  What on earth do I even have to write about tonight,” I just went on ahead and looked at Pinterest.  Pinterest is a life sucker, and apparently I don’t even know the half of it, as Amy asked me the other day, “How do you see all the pages, when you don’t have an account set up?”

Excuse me?  ALL the pages?  Because I see one big one, and that’s pages-aplenty for my adult-onset attention deficit disorder.  But now I’m intrigued, and perhaps I will have to sign up, so that I can pin recipes I’ll never make and crafts I’ll never be fully inspired to try and landscaping ideas that I’ll never be able to afford or maintain.

So tonight, I’m going to throw some odds and ends at you, because I can’t come up with anything else.  And it’s nearing my bedtime, and I’m learning that I don’t sacrifice my early bedtime for anything any more.

1.  I finally did it.  I upgraded my FREE Words With Friends game on my phone to the $2.99 game that is ADVERTISEMENT-FREE.  And when I say that I upgraded it, I really mean Hubs, because when I attempted to do it, I lost all of my games, because that is how technology and I get along.  Hubs solved my nerdy game issues, and all I really have to say is that I can’t believe I waited this long to pay nearly three American dollars for the game where I don’t have to sit through the advertisements after laying down my 18-point words.  For the first few moves, I kept WAITING for the ads… and they didn’t show up… and it was nothing short of an October miracle.

2.  Thing 2 has slept until 6 AM for the past two mornings.  We consider this a Sleep Victory, because he has been up between 4:45 and 5:00 every single morning for almost three weeks now.  Except for these last two days.  And they have been glorious, and the angels have sang over them.

3.  I was hit in the eye with a bean bag traveling at Mach 9 this afternoon in PE.  It’s always a show-stopper when the teacher has to bend over, clutching her eyeball and moaning ridiculously.  Thank goodness a little voice asked, “Do you need an icepack from the office?”  Because a frozen kitchen sponge in a Ziploc baggie?  Well, that cures 99% of the injuries that happen in my gym, but I wasn’t convinced that it was going to restore vision to a hemorrhaging right eye.  As it turned out, it was more of a flesh wound than anything, and pre-kindergarten PE went on like nothing out of the normal had happened.

4.  Today will go down as one of the worst hair days in the history of my life.  I pulled the hot rollers out this morning, expecting a glorious mane, and what I got was sparks from all the static electricity I was apparently sporting.  And then we had WIND in Small Town today, which wasn’t your ordinary wind, but more of a blow-the-pigs’-house-down sort of blusteriness. The static and the wind joined together like a dysfunctional couple intent on committing a felony to completely kill the effects of the hot rollers.  I simply slammed a headband on and gave up.  Of course this differs from my senior-in-high-school self, because THAT girl would have called in late for school and re-showered to try again.  My senior-in-high-school self wasn’t a quitter when it came to the hair.  She was the Little Red Engine Who Could.  She was also the same girl who showered on Friday afternoons for a second time, so that she’d have a fresh set of shellacked perm curls to go out with on Friday night.  Sometimes I miss that 17 year old girl, and sometimes I think, “What a lot of work!”

5.  And THAT reminds me of a sign I saw on Pinterest tonight.

I think that’s the hardcore truth, because I took my static-infused, windblown, slop of a hair ‘do into the Walmart this evening.

(Please rest assured, though, that I DID shower and I DID NOT wear my pajama bottoms into the super center.  I had no desire to appear on the Walmartians website as the fashionless victim of someone’s cell phone camera.)

(Although my hair looked like it had been styled by monkeys using a handheld, electric mixer.)

6.  It rained in Small Town yesterday, and by rained, I mean poured.  This cancelled the boy’s soccer game, which made me want to do the Hokey Pokey with all the relief and excitement I felt at not having to go sit in the cold slop on a set of metal bleachers.  So, with no soccer game lined up for the evening, the boy and Enzo asked if they could hit the movie theater.  I gave them cash.  I dropped them off.  I waved good-bye.  And then, as I drove away, I wondered HOW ON EARTH MY BABY WAS BIG ENOUGH TO GO TO THE MOVIES WITHOUT A GROWNUP???  Because just yesterday he was dropping his sippy cup off his highchair and onto the floor.

7.  That’s it, people.  I know I’ve bored y’all thoroughly, but it was a pretty boring day, save for the two minutes when I thought I might have sustained a concussion to my brain through my eyeball.  Never underestimate the throwing capabilities of a four-year-old pretending that beanbags are garbage that he has to pick up and throw into a trashcan.

Y’all have a happy Wednesday night.

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