A Boy Will Aim For Anything In The Toilet. And He’ll Still Save You From A Tornado.

I’ve been back in my gym this week, teaching PE yesterday and today, and it has been good.

Good, because LOOK AT ME!  I’M OUT OF THE HOUSE, COUGHING ON SOCIETY!

My classes are exactly like I left them, before the sub came in when Thing 2 was sick… busy.  One of my kindergarten boys came in the gym yesterday afternoon, after using the restroom, and he loudly announced, “The ball fell in the urinal, people!”  He was holding a big, red, bouncy ball, which was, indeed, dripping wet.

And because I know this little fellow… and I do mean KNOW him… the very first words out of my mouth were, “Did you pee on the ball?”  At least his manners were good enough to look dadgum shocked over that question, before he shook his head and told me, “No.  I was DONE peeing when I dropped it.  I couldn’t pee any more.  I tried.”

I treasure his honesty.  I also have a slight crush on him, because he’s wild and completely adorable and will be giving all the adults in his life gray hairs.

I sent him back to the bathroom to scrub the ball with soap and water.  I smiled and said, “And you know that I’m not afraid to walk into that boys’ bathroom and make sure you’re using PLENTY of the soap!”

Four minutes later, he came back  into the gym, carrying the ball.  It was COVERED in suds.  It looked like a soap factory had exploded all over it.  And then he yelled clear across the gym to me, “Hey!  Do you think this is enough soap?”

Yes, sir.  I thought it was plenty o’ soap, and it was time for the rinse cycle.

A bit later, the second graders showed up for gym.  One of the little eight-year-old boys marched right up to me and asked, “Have you ever seen a real twister?”  They had been studying weather.  I didn’t think that Thing 2 (who is an F5 tornado, all by himself) would count, so I simply said, “Nope.  Thankfully, I’ve never seen one.”

This little fellow told me, “Well, I’m quite worried about one hitting our gym, because they can go at 10,000 miles per hour, and do you know what would happen to our gym walls if something hit them at 10,000 miles per hour?”

Alex, what is DISINTEGRATION?

“The bricks would fly everywhere, and we could die, and what if a twister hits the gym today?”

I told him, “Well, the good news is that Small Town, USA is NOT in a tornado-filled area.  That’s why we don’t ever hear tornado sirens going off at 3:00 in the morning.  But if one DID get through Oklahoma and came to our gym today, I would protect you.”

And then he smiled and said, “I’d protect YOU, too.  I would tell you to get into the basement, and make sure you listened to me and didn’t go by the windows.”

Because we all know that when the twister traveling at 10,000 miles per hour hits the gym, the safest place to be is NOT by the windows.

People, I can’t imagine having any other job than the one I have.  I also can’t imagine a world without little boys.

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