I’m sitting here again at my computer, and I realize that I have nothing to write about.
Which is exactly what happened last night. Only I really DID have something to write about last night, because HELLO, DENTIST AND MY NUMB MOUTH! Only the experience was still too fresh and painful in my mind, so I couldn’t type about it just then. And I’m afraid I’m still not thinking I can easily write about a day in my life when my face was so numb, I took a sip of iced tea from a straw and slopped it down my chin and into my shirt, because apparently I didn’t feel that my mouth was… you know… still open.
The thing about iced tea is that it’s a liquid, and liquids do tend to just go on ahead and escape when there’s an easy exit.
Like a lip that feels like it’s the size of a softball, which is hanging on the ground.
Maybe I’ll write about the mishap next week, which is the earliest time I’ll recover from the fact that Beckie sat on my living room sofa, doubled up and holding her sides from laughing at me, because I talked exathactly like I had a lithp. It’th what happenth when your tongue ith numb.
Bless my heart.
So last night, instead of wasting a whole lot of time staring at a blank blog page and realizing that, for the first time in my life, I was incapable of filling it with words, I simply clicked on over to the Pinterest.
Which… you know… isn’t a time-waster at all. It’s electronic hoarding at its finest.
And then I went to bed. And I dreamed that I was STILL renting the apartment my roommate and I had in college, because apparently I was only paying $150 per month for it, and the landlord had promised never to raise the rent while I still had it. So I kept it, for upwards of twenty years, because I wanted my kids to have a cheap-rent place to stay when they went to college. I had been paying rent on this place all these years, and in my dream last night, Hubs and I had gone back inside of it, and LO! There were my college textbooks and a College Town sweatshirt, still sitting exactly where I had left them in 1992.
Apparently I must’ve flunked basic college math, because I’m thinking that $150 per month, times twelve months, times twenty years and then some, as we wait for the boy to reach his 18th birthday, equals a heap of money that could have been invested differently. And all the money that was spent hanging onto the apartment for all those years could have just flat-out BOUGHT a condo for the boy straight across the street from the Harvard student union.
And why on earth didn’t I sell that stack of textbooks back at the bookstore? Apparently I was too good for some hot cash in the pocket of my Guess jeans.
Also? I don’t enjoy dreams about math problems, because then I wake up with raging headaches, which is exactly what happened today. I had to throw back some migraine medication at 6:30 this morning, and then I crawled into the boy’s empty bed, while he was showering, and shut his door. I told Hubs, “If I don’t lay down with this medication for about thirty minutes, I will have a raging migraine that involves vomit and motion sickness that will make me scream like a banshee with her foot caught in a bear trap.” And that’s why Hubs got the boys ready for the day, while I laid in pain in the boy’s room, and mentally cried over the fact that his Tempur-Pedic mattress is very possibly the most comfortable thing I’ve ever reclined upon. So of course I laid there with my headache, hating my Sleep By Number bed even more than I had previously.
And then… well… forty minutes later, I moved from Migraine Status to Just A Headache That Can Be Endured Status, so I got up and made the boy a cold lunch.
(Don’t judge me, but his lunch was not exactly nutritionally sound today. It went against everything in me to just shove some junk out of the pantry into a lunchbox, but we’re coming up on Spring Break, and the MAMA-APPROVED LUNCH ITEMS are at an all-time low at our house. The boy had some sugar and some white-bread carbs; the fruit and the yogurt and the whole grains were completely missing.)
Also? Excedrin Migraine is my go-to drug of choice. Unless it’s a drug that involves sleeping and not being able to operate heavy machinery. Then those ones are my favorite. But if it’s a headache, I’m right here to stand on my soap box and advertise the beauty of the Excedrin Migraine tablet. It has never let me down.
(Sadly, Excedrin HAS let me down, because they don’t pay me for all the advertising I do for them, and all the times I have recommended their products to my friends.)
And then I did some procrastinating today, because it was snowy and damp and chilly, and the fireplace at home was inviting, and Thing 2 took a powerfully-wonderful afternoon nap, and why on earth would I want to sling the vacuum cleaner around when all of those delightful things were going on simultaneously?
And that, people, was the day at the Jedi Manor. But I did make taco soup in the crockpot, and the thing about that soup is I plum, dadgum invented the recipe myself. I just took some cans of this and cans of that, stirred them in with some hamburger out of our freezer, and added this spice and that spice and LOOK! LET’S TRY THIS SPICE!
It was a groundbreaking moment at our house, because my simple rule of thumb is this: If I don’t have a recipe to follow, I don’t make it. And sometimes even if I do have a recipe to follow, I don’t make it. But tonight’s taco soup was good.
Clearly, I could be a fancy chef if I wanted to.
We did have some boys in our house this afternoon, as the boy’s buddy, Quinn, and his brother came over for a while. They all ended up chasing Thing 2 ’round and ’round, because Thing 2 is a runner now.
It does my heart good to have a house filled with boys. Plus, Thing 2 was so happy to sit on Quinn’s shoulders for a while. He thought he was a genuine Big Boy.
Next week, I’ll tell you all about yesterday, which involved me and my dentist and my mouth that wouldn’t close properly.
And my lithp. Because? Have you ever tried to speak when your tongue was numb? I’m just glad no one videoed me, because I would have been an overnight You Tube sensation.
Carry on, and y’all have a fantastic weekend.