All The Golfing

I’m not even going to pretend that I have anything worthwhile to write tonight.

You know… as opposed to all the other nights when I write things that make educated people sit up and take notice.

Today was one of those days when I spent all of my time in the Suburban.  It wasn’t because I drove it across the country to see Elvis impersonators, either, because I didn’t.

Much to Hubs’ disappointment, I’ve never really liked Elvis.  Oh, I’m sure he was a fine gentleman and all, because how can you not be, when you’re wearing a sequined jumpsuit?  It’s just that his music makes me heave an enormous, not-at-all-dramatic sigh and ask, “What else is on the radio?”

Today I drove here and there and everywhere, without leaving Small Town’s county limits.  It’s because I had to get the boy from here… and take him there… and go to Bible study here… and get the boy back from there… and take him to that spot… and blah, blah, blah, until I was really and truly looking at the LOW FUEL light glowing on my dashboard.  All I have to say is that today I’m thankful for the gentleman who invented the automobile, as well as for air conditioning in the vehicle and non-Elvis songs on the radio.

The boy went golfing today.


Because apparently he’s into two-a-days now, as far as all the practicing goes.  The boy popped out of bed at 7:00 this morning to ask Hubs if he’d drop him off at the golf course on his way to work, so that he could practice his chipping and putting all by himself.  This was amazing, because IN ALL OF THE YEARS OF TRYING TO GET THAT BOY TO SLEEP IN, this is the year when it finally happened!  This is the summer when the boy has suddenly decided I LOVE TO SLEEP UNTIL 10 AM!

And we have the non-sleeping Thing 2 now.

Because life is just hysterical.

But yes.  This was the first day of summer break that the boy has walked out of his bedroom before 10:00 in the morning.  He was dressed in plaid shorts and a polo shirt, looking like he was ready to take on the US Open.  Hubs did drop him at the golf course this morning, and then I picked him up…

…and ran him forty-eleven different places…

…and then I took the boy and three of his buddies (including a cousin thrown in there) out to the golf course, because of 3:00 TEE TIME!!  They played nine holes and laughed themselves silly, and the boy announced, “I just golfed my best game OF EVER this afternoon!  Like… I totally ROCKED my golf score today!”

Way to go, Boy!

So, in lieu of many words tonight that don’t seem to go anywhere, I will just show you what’s been happening this week for us in the Golfing Department.

Because the answer is YES.  All of these photos were taken in the past seven days.

And now I think I’m officially done taking snapshots of boys at the driving range, because PLENTY!!

The boy, Quinn and John golfed in the wind.  And when I say WIND, I really mean that they’re pretty sure they saw Dorothy and Toto that morning.  Wind is not really a deterrent for twelve-year-old boys, because they don’t care about their hair being blown into a I LIVE IN A VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER style.

IMG_5297IMG_5316 IMG_5329 IMG_5333 IMG_5334 IMG_5335 IMG_5337 IMG_5345 IMG_5357 IMG_5377 IMG_5307 IMG_5309 IMG_5319 IMG_5327 IMG_5358 IMG_5365 IMG_5366 IMG_5372 IMG_5304The boy and Enzo decided to golf in the rain.  They assured me that it was just a sprinkle, and they weren’t sweet enough to be made out of sugar, so they’d both be fine.

Thing 2 wore his raincoat when we dropped the big boys off, because he IS made out of sugar.  And snakes.  And also snails. And some rotten coffee grounds, dirt clods and wet cat food.

IMG_5437IMG_5425IMG_5414IMG_5397 IMG_5401 IMG_5406 IMG_5409 IMG_5419 IMG_5429 IMG_5433 IMG_5435 IMG_5436 IMG_5439Today, Cousin B, the boy, Quinn and Enzo all went golfing together.

(I hope that Quinn’s mother will get him treated for his camera shyness.)

IMG_5746 IMG_5748 IMG_5750IMG_5768IMG_5779IMG_5761 IMG_5776 IMG_5783 IMG_5786 IMG_5789 IMG_5792 IMG_5794 IMG_5796 IMG_5797 IMG_5800 IMG_5802 IMG_5806 IMG_5808 IMG_5827 IMG_5849Cousin B is a hockey player.  He plays hockey as often as most boys take a breath of oxygen.  He plays golf in the spring and summer to pass the time until hockey starts again.

This is how a hockey player lines up his practice shots at the driving range:

IMG_5854 IMG_5855And then he hits them as fast as he possibly can, in the slap shot fashion…

IMG_5858And then he talks his cousin into doing the same thing…
IMG_5867 IMG_5869And then they wonder why their $6 bucket o’ balls disappears so quickly.
That’s a wrap tonight, y’all.  It’s currently 78 degrees outside here in Small Town, but it’s a balmy, feels-like-a-steam-bath-you’d-like-to-forget 239 degrees in my house.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that our air conditioning unit has failed to operate the way it is supposed to, even though we paid large sums of money to have it and have always treated it with love and kindness, like it was a member of our family.
I’m going to go sit in my deep freeze for a while, before I head to bed.
Y’all stay cool… and y’all have a blessed Tuesday evening.

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