A Sunday List

So I just have a list tonight, because I’m in the middle of a good book.  It’s the kind of book that takes place on Nantucket and makes me wish that we were the type of people who summered there.

Because living on the beach?  Yes, ma’am.  I could probably get used to that.

So I really have to make this short and sweet, because I’ve left the book in the middle of a chapter, and Margot is trying to pull of a great wedding for her sister, since their mother has been dead for years, but whoa!  Her old high school flame is back on the island, and she wants NOTHING to do with him, and… well… sunsets in Nantucket make people crazy, I guess.

Not that I would know.

What with me never having been to Nantucket and all.

You know… since a trip to Walmart with all four of us is considered a family vacation.

1.  It’s Shark Week on TV.  The bigger boys in my house have been on a countdown for this week since LAST YEAR’S Shark Week.  The DVR is going to burn itself on up with everything Hubs and the boy have programmed it to record.  Right now, they’re watching something that involves seeing the bare back of a man who survived a bite from a Great White, and I accidentally looked up at the TV screen and saw all 700 of his stitches.  Some things cannot be unseen, people.

700 stitches is one of those things.

And Hubs is still proclaiming that he’d sell his left arm to go scuba diving in a big, metal cage off the coast of Australia.  That’s some kind of abnormal, y’all.  The reason I live on land is because the sharks live in the water.  The reason I live in the US is because the top ten most dangerous snakes live in Australia.  God new exactly where to put me.

2.  The boy came home from Ben’s ranch.  He was unshowered for four days, so you can imagine the aroma that followed him home.  He was sunburned, covered with nearly one hundred mosquito bites, and happy as a clam in the sand.  He’d had a wonderful time.  He survived getting bucked off a horse, even though he said he’d initially suspected he’d broken his back in fourteen places and crushed his pelvis and right leg.  He said it took him a while to get his breath back, and then he realized he was still in one piece, so he got back on that horse and finished their trail ride.

That’s a hero, people.

He and Ben went fishing, where they were eaten alive by mosquitoes.  I seldom exaggerate, but I’m not even kidding about the boy’s back and arms.  There are really and honestly and truly at least a hundred bug bites on his body.  We’ve tried every over-the-counter product known to man to reduce the itch, but, like a shark bite, I think he’s just going to have to suffer until he heals.

3.  Thing 2 has been introduced to Twinkies.  He calls them TINKIES.  He walks around the house, yelling out, “Tinky!  Tinky!  TINKY!!!”  I’ve never learned to like Twinkies.  The goop in the middle of a Twinkie makes me gag, but the testosterone at my house LOVES THEMSELVES SOME TWINKIES!  They’ve ushered the baby into their Fake-Cake-Lovers group, and he has asked for full membership privileges.

4.  Thing 2 loves to dance.  He has rhythm and grace and style, and he can flop all over the house in a break dance routine.  Today, I introduced him to… ahem… Billy Idol’s “Mony Mony.”  Thing 2 danced so hard, he was in danger of dislocating a hip.  I haven’t laughed that hard in at least a week!  I’d show you a video, but listen… my iPhone videos don’t like to talk to Word Press.  Or rather, I don’t understand how to introduce the two of them properly, which means I probably need the help of a computer guru, and my resident guru worked all weekend, so I’m going to give him the night off.

5.  Yes.  Hubs went to work at 6 AM on Saturday morning to install new servers for one of their bigger clients, while the office had no one working in it.  He came home at 1:00 on Sunday morning.  If my math is correct, that’s nineteen entire hours of work.

On a Saturday.

And then he went back in at 9:00 this morning.  He came home at 5 PM.  I’m pretty sure Hubs’ work week is already half over.  That’s why I’m just letting him absorb all the shark shows and not pestering him about, “You know what?  I can’t get videos inserted on my blog!”

6.  I also introduced Thing 2 to some Rick Springfield this afternoon.  It was after he’d worked up a sweat dancing all over the house to Billy.  I was so excited about having him hear “Love Somebody,” because SWEET SONG, FOLKS!

Thing 2 gave it a listen for approximately six entire seconds, and then that baby TURNED HIS BACK ON ME, WALKED OFF, AND VACATED THE ROOM.

He doesn’t know a thing about good music.

And that’s all for tonight, people.  My sweet mama decided that everyone needed brand new bedding over here, what with us still using the pillows I had in college.

Dust mites, anyone?

So Mam brought over new pillows!  New pillows for everyone!  And new sheets!  And new blankets!  And our bed looks like it was made up by ladies at a ten-star hotel that even the Duchess of Cambridge could stay at.  The thought of that clean bed and my book are beckoning to me, people.

I have to find out if Margot decides that maybe she has a crush on her old sweetheart after all, and I just hope it doesn’t rain on her sister’s wedding, what with Margot refusing to let the wedding coordinator cut the branch off the old elm with the swing on it in order to have room for the tent.

And?  I’m sure they’ll have some Rick Springfield at the reception, people.

Carry on, and y’all have a fantastic Sunday evening.

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