My friend Katie sent me this.
It’s full of grammatical errors, and I desperately want to haul it into Photo Shop to MAKE SOME CHANGES, PEOPLE, but I’m not going to. But… I may send it to the boy’s 7th grade composition teacher so that she can put it on the big screen and say, “Class? Where do we need periods and capital letters in this?”
Just this morning, I was encouraging the boy to PLEASE HURRY and MAKE YOUR BED and DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH? because YOUR TEE TIME IS ABOUT HERE, AND I STILL HAVE TO DRIVE YOU TO THE GOLF COURSE!
While I thought he was putting on his socks and golf cleats, he was under his bed… petting the cat. He hadn’t bothered to pull the covers up and tidy the pillows. His breakfast was still clinging to his braces.
And while the boy was very busy NOT DOING the things on the short list I’d given him to accomplish, Thing 2 hunkered down and did his business in his Pampers. And then he threw one of his fuzzy, I CAN’T GO TO SLEEP WITHOUT THIS sock into the boy’s toilet. The boy actually brought it to me, because do you know what we should do with a fleece sock that weighs 14 pounds from all the water it has soaked up?
We should carry it around the house, looking for our mother, so we can SHOW IT TO HER and TATTLE ON OUR BABY BROTHER!
So then there was the little issue of all the toilet water dripped across all the floors, and a tee time that was going to be difficult to make.
But? We arrived at the golf course with two entire minutes to spare before the boy and Tristyn were scheduled to play nine holes. I told the boy, “Look! Your tee time is in exactly two minutes; you’d better hurry.”
The boy looked at me and said, “And the important thing that we learned today is that I CAN waste a little time, because we CAN get to the golf course quickly.”
If you need me, I’ll be in the corner drinking wine out of our 64-ounce gas station mug.