I’m So Good At WebMD, I Think I’ll Go Back To College Town As A Pre-Med Major

Y’all.

I have had some POWERFUL BUSY in the past couple of days, and really?  Well, it shows no signs of letting up tomorrow, because WEDNESDAY!  And all of that really translates into, “I don’t know how the blog posts are going to pan out this week,” because there comes a time in every girl’s life when she just needs to sit down and breathe and admire her fresh pedicure.

Anyway.

Piled on top of all of my busy is the small fact that I could not sleep last night.  I don’t mean this in the vague sort of way, where someone says, “You know, I didn’t sleep all that great last night.”  I mean this in the solid sort of way, where someone says, “You know, I think I MAY HAVE slept all of three hours, from start to finish, last night.”

I got into bed at 8:30 last night, and I was busy doing math in my head.

(I know.)

(It was exactly like I didn’t even know myself, because the last time I did math in my head was never.)

But I laid there, thinking, “I’m in bed at 8:30.  If I fall asleep in the next fifteen minutes, and if Thing 2 will have the decency to sleep until 6 AM, I am honestly looking at almost nine hours of sleep tonight.”

My heart leaped with all the joy that brought.

(Either that, or it was a big surge of adrenaline brought on by me working out complicated math problems without the luxury of a calculator.)

So I just played a couple of words in Words With Friends.  And then SOMEONE played a 131-point word on me, which left me gasping for air.  And then I was trying to get my J on a bright green, triple letter tile, and hit the golden egg (that triple WORD tile) at the same time, but apparently JOGE is not a real word.  It was the best I could do, and Words With Friends called my bluff on it, so I gave up playing.

It was 8:45.  I decided that nine hours’ worth of sleep was still a reality.

That’s when MY LEGS kicked in.  Every now and then, I get these “feelings” in my legs.  Oh, it’s not pain… and it’s not nerves… but it’s this LET’S GO FOR A JOG RIGHT NOW sort of feeling.  So there will be my legs, wanting to just KICK AND STRETCH, exactly like Sally O’Malley, and my brain is all, “Run?  Kick?  At 9:00 PM?  Thanks… but no.”

(Oh, who am I kidding?  I can’t even channel Sally O’Malley long enough to get my kick on smack in the middle of the day.)

So I laid there in bed last night, fidgeting, until I realized that this was not the Dark Ages, and YES!  I had a smart phone right beside me, which could unleash the power of the Internet in seconds.  I Googled the ailment RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME, and proceeded to read the symptoms and causes out loud to Hubs.  You can bet he was absolutely thrilled to be interrupted in ALL OF HIS SLEEPING to listen to me talk like I was Dr. Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce.

(Also?  That M*A*S*H reference?  Well.  I watched some of it when I was young, because that’s what people’s parents always had on, back in the day.  Hubs watched it, too, but he was a lot more religious about catching episodes than I was.  After we were married, I mentioned Hawkeye and the Vietnam War.  Hubs announced that it was actually the Korean War.  We argued over this, ad naseum, but the Internet was still an infant.  Instead of checking the Wikipedia, we had to MAKE A PHONE CALL [as in, use a lifeline to call a friend].  It was a sad day when I realized I’d been watching the wrong war on TV all of those years.)

(Hubs was actually right.)

(THAT TIME.)

So last night, I officially diagnosed myself with having SOMETIMES RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME, because listen.  It’s not a nightly occurrence.  It only happens when HEY!  NINE HOURS OF SLEEP COMING UP!

WebMD also alerted me to the fact that it is more common in the elderly.

Hubs lost no time at all making snarky comments there.

Eventually, I had tossed and turned, and kicked and stretched, until the bedsheets were in a tangled mess, and Hubs just stood up and declared, “It’s like sharing a bed with squirrel on speed.”  And then he went to the sofa.

(I’m not sure Nicholas Sparks ever had a hero in one of his books do that.  Hubs is a trend-setter.)

By midnight, I was down to SIX HOURS OF SLEEP, IF I FALL ASLEEP RIGHT THIS SECOND.

By 1:00, I was hoping to get five solid hours.

And, GLORY BE!  I did fall asleep somewhere around 1 AM, so you can imagine my level of shock and disorientation when Thing 2 woke up at 2:00 and started hollering for the new toy tractors that I had purchased for him yesterday.

Yes.  It’s true.

2 AM, and our baby was shouting, “Tractor!  Tractor!” at the top of his lungs, and making it known that he would like to get up and push those new little vehicles all over.  It took some convincing, but he went back to sleep sometime around 2:30.

I went to sleep sometime around 3:30.

Which is, you know, a whole lot of worthless words to say that I’ve been busy and now I’m tired on top of all the busy, and who knows how this blog is going to shake down this week?

With any luck, y’all will see me here at least once more before the weekend strikes.

Happy Tuesday.

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