If you’ve been looking around for a poorly written blog with low-quality, blurry iPhone pictures… look no more. You’re in the right spot. I’m pretty sure that my iPhone could benefit from an exorcism these days, because it simply won’t behave in a manner that would make Steve Jobs proud.
Specifically, I have to pound on my big home button eighteen times before my phone sits up and says, “Oh! Right! The home screen!” And then it just randomly decided last month, “Hey… you know what? I’m DONE recording voicemails for you.” Which is why, if you call my phone and leave a voicemail, I will never get it. Recorded voice messages disappear like a Sasquatch in a woods full of cameras. Plus, my phone has decided that it doesn’t care how many pixels it has in the camera, it’s only going to use two, thank you very much. It’s exactly like being back on the prairie with Ma and Pa Ingalls, when they’d tell Laura and Mary to “Stand in front of that snowdrift, girls! Pa has the new camera out!”
I know that all of this is happening because I used MY phone upgrade to upgrade the boy’s phone for his Christmas gift. My iPhone was working just fine, when I had an upgrade available. As soon as we signed the paperwork using MY upgrade for a fancy little Motorola for the boy that behaves like a well-mannered prince, my phone decided to just quit with all the niceties.
It has made me realize that times were simpler and phones were easier when everyone had a rotary dial hanging on their kitchen wall, and you just hoped for a best friend who didn’t have a lot of nines in her phone number.
Yes, we’ve put a week of HORRIBLY BUSY behind us, but I want y’all to know that I managed to get Thing 2 to his preschool class every day. Hubs and I take education very seriously around here. If we miss a day with Shawn the Train (Thing 2’s favorite teacher, whose annoying voice makes me want to beat my head against concrete) and his hexagons and spheres, we may not be qualified to take the atom-splitting lab at age four. We will persevere with the homeschool preschool.
Thing 2 has a cup full of non-organic, full-of-the-orange-dye, fish-shaped crackers and bellies up to the You Tube every single morning for about twenty minutes, so that Mama can read the news online and keep track of America’s gold medals.
And let’s face it. When you get up as early as Thing 2 does, sometimes you’re just flat-out exhausted during your homeschool session.
No matter. Thing 2 can count to ten, and he can recognize the numbers one through ten. He can say his ABCs, with the exception of E and L, which he misses EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. (And really? Do we even NEED the E and L in our alphabet?) He can also recognize the twenty-four letters that he says, no matter where they’re written. He knows all of his colors, including silver and gold, which makes Burl Ives and Rudolph proud. On top of all of that, he knows all of his shapes… even the HARD ONES, like the hexagon and the rhombus.
I’d say we’re getting our money’s worth out of this preschool class.
(Which, come to think of it, is sort of free, minus the cost of the WiFi in the house.)
Hubs and I aren’t sure whether the big yawn in class this morning was from I GOT UP TOO EARLY, or whether it was from Thing 2’s homeschool gym class, during which he climbs the refrigerator…
And look! Thing 2 brought a guest to preschool last week, as his day-glow-green bear in the yellow underwear tagged along.
Also… THIS happened last week:
Apparently, Small Town, USA decided to participate in some HOW COLD CAN WE ACTUALLY GET AND STILL HAVE OUR TOWN’S POPULATION SURVIVE contest. Because, y’all? That is a giant MINUS SIGN in front of the twenty-seven.
So… we did homeschooling science experiments in the cold weather, in which Hubs boiled water in the microwave and then proceeded to throw it right off the deck. When you throw bubbling, hot water into air THAT COLD, it just POOFS (which is my technical science terminology) into a cloud. I think we took care of homeschooling science AND chemistry with that one little lesson.
(Also? The mad scientist laugh happening in the background of this video does not belong to me.)
As long as we’re playing catch-up, look who turned TWENTY-THREE ENTIRE MONTHS OLD last week!
He’s cute, isn’t he?
And? Remember the LILAC shirt that I was all gung-ho about buying for Thing 2 off of Ralph Lauren’s online sale? Well. Hubs was not at all thrilled about WHY IS MY TODDLER WEARING LILAC? I thought our little man looked charmingly handsome at church when he wore it, but Hubs… not so much.
We hit the orthodontist’s office, so that we could give them some of our very-hard-earned money, in exchange for little tiny wires on the boy’s teeth. I’m sure that, wholesale, those little tiny wires probably sell for pennies, but don’t worry about us… We’re surviving nicely on our dinners of Ramen noodles and water from the neighbors’ hose.
The boys read books together in the waiting room, which made my heart swell with LOOK HOW SWEET THEY ARE! THEY’RE SO DADGUM SWEET, I NEED TO TAKE A BLURRY PICTURE OF THEM WITH MY IPHONE!
He had to look snazzy for the science fair judges. Apparently his go-to outfit of Under Armour windpants and a T-shirt wasn’t considered dressy enough by his science teacher, so Mama hauled the iron out. That blue-plaid shirt doesn’t come out of the dryer looking pretty, no matter how early I get to it.
Well, the boy nailed FIRST PLACE in the category of Microbiology at the District Science Fair. His mama and daddy were real proud.
(I have no idea what category Gage entered in. I don’t really speak Science.)
(But aren’t these boys adorable together? They’ve been friends since the very DAY that Gage was born.)
Gage didn’t waste any time stripping out of his collared shirt and tie. I think the boy would have joined him, but we weren’t brilliant enough to throw a plain white T-shirt beneath the MAMA IRONED IT shirt. Bare-chested boys at the district science fair are usually frowned upon and handed demerits.
The boy’s friends, Patrick and Jonathan, each brought home some hardware from the science fair, too.
All of these boys are advancing to the regional competition now, which is this week. Because we can’t risk the boy’s tri-fold display board getting bent, we’ve put it in the very back of my Suburban, where Thing 2 CANNOT GET TO IT AT ALL! We’re fairly certain if Thing 2 discovered it, he’d use it as a dance floor.
And that kind of brings y’all up to speed on what’s been happening at the Jedi Manor lately. So, I’m going to smack the PUBLISH button on the blog and go see who’s spinning around on the ice / sliding down the icy tunnel / sweeping the ice on the TV.
And go, Science Fair Boys!!