I’ve been meaning to toss some pictures from Thing 2’s swimming lessons onto the blog for the past couple of weeks now, but other things always seemed to pop up, and I just never got around to downloading the snapshots off of my memory card.
And when I say other things popped up, what I really mean is THE TODDLER STARTED GETTING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, AND WE’RE ALL LIVING LIKE ZOMBIES WHO HAVE TAKEN TOO MUCH COLD MEDICATION AROUND HERE. I don’t know why Thing 2 has chosen 2 AM as a wake-up time, but when he does… he wants the dump trucks and a snack and STAND BACK, BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO JUMP ON MY BED, AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT’LL FLY OFF WHEN I DO.
Night before last, I bent over to pick Thing 2’s blanket up off the floor, just about the time he decided to stand up from his position on the floor, and BLAM. We made contact between the back of the toddler’s head and my nose, and what happened next was exactly like a strung-up pig that was bleeding out. My nose decided to just open on up, and I was spraying red blood cells everywhere, and that’s always so much fun to deal with at 3:00 in the morning.
Yesterday morning, after my nose had finally clotted off with snot and platelets the size of a beach ball, I announced to Hubs that I would be leaving Thing 2 on the doorstep of the Catholic church, so that the nuns could find him and raise him. I hoped that he’d be spending his afternoons on his knees, with the rosary, and making an honest attempt at mending his ways.
Specifically… his ways of partying in the middle of the night.
But then by the time I got him dressed yesterday, he looked so cute in his little black and red track suit, that I decided perhaps we’d keep him another day and let him come to the Baptist church with us. I just got in his face and said, “Listen. Mama WANTS to keep you, but if you don’t let me sleep, you’re going to be at the monastery, eating porridge and learning to sit quietly for hours on end.”
Because monks and nuns are all good at training QUIETNESS and a PEACEFUL SPIRIT into a child.
My threat must’ve paid off, because Thing 2 slept ALL. NIGHT. LONG. last night.
And the angels rejoiced and spread out a buffet full of hot Krispy Kreme donuts to celebrate.
A few weeks ago, Hubs, his friend Greg, and Sister’s Husband all decided that signing themselves up for the Parent-Tot Swim Class at the local rec center would be a fun thing to do. There’s nothing like the joys of having a toddler kick water in your face for thirty entire minutes.
What Hubs and I learned was that our worst fears were simply confirmed: Thing 2 will indeed run right off the side of the pool and jump into the water without (1) checking to make sure a lifeguard is on duty, or (2) reading the signs to see how deep the pool is. He has no fear whatsoever, and getting into the water wasn’t even a challenge for him.
(“What? The swim instructor said, ‘Get in the pool?’ CANNONBALL!!!”)
The other little kids were very cautious about getting in. They’d get their toes wet first… and then their knees… and then, while desperately clutching their parents, they’d go on ahead and ease their bodies into the pool, while Hubs was busy fishing Thing 2 off the bottom of the pool, before his I CAN HOLD MY BREATH THIS LONG limit expired.
I can only hope that if Thing 2 decides to head out to the lake on a Friday night when he’s a teenager, that Gavin is along with him to say things like, “Should you really jump off the rock cliffs like that in the dark? Have you checked the water depth? Do you have a life vest to wear? Is this a SAFE IDEA, Thing 2?” And then Gavin would add, “I’ll totally jump with you, Thing 2; I’m all for jumping. But let me grab a big stick and check the water level first, and I think I have a life jacket behind the seat in my truck. And it might be a good idea if we kind of turn my truck a little, so that we can use the headlights. I think that would be safer than just barreling off the cliff in the dark.”
Cousin H enjoyed the swimming class, too. The best-case scenario would be for Gavin AND Cousin H to be with Thing 2 when he goes to the lake without his parents’ permission as a teenager, because I KNOW that Little H will just holler out, “I’m calling your parents right this second!! Yours, too, Gavin!! Cliff jumping in the dark is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of!! I’m always just trying to keep y’all ALIVE!!”
Thankfully, games on the smart phone were readily available to keep them entertained.
During one swimming class, the instructor had the parents get into groups of three. Each group was given a ball, and the kids had to throw the ball around to one another. Thing 2 threw the ball to Cousin H. Cousin H threw the ball to a little girl that we had never met before, and she, in turn, threw it back to Thing 2.
The only problem was that this other little girl was NOT overly inclined to actually throw the ball. What she tended to do was hold the ball and GET READY TO THROW, but then she would never exit the throwing position by actually launching the ball at Thing 2.
Thankfully, our son was very patient and calm, as he politely gave her words of encouragement for THROW THE BALL ALREADY.
Mostly, Thing 2 hollered and squealed and shrieked at this other little girl that he WAS OPEN! THROW THE BALL! THROW IT TO ME!!! RIGHT NOW, THROW THE BALL, BEFORE MY BRAIN EXPLODES FROM FRUSTRATION!!!
When the floaty balls were put away, Thing 2 simply stated, “I’m never having that girl on any of my teams!”
We’re working on his manners.
When ball time was over, the instructor announced that the little water slide would be open to any toddler who might enjoy going down.
Thing 2 was first in line for that, and he went down that slide approximately seventeen thousand and eighty-seven times.
After our night spent on the water slide, Thing 2 was hooked. The next time his lessons rolled around, Mam and Pa and Grammy and Papa ALL came to watch the little swimming enthusiast, and that is when he decided that he was going to pitch a fit for the entire session.
Thing 2, right there in front of all of his admiring grandparents, wanted to SLIDE, while the swim instructor was teaching them to REACH AND PULL in the water. Thing 2 didn’t want to reach and pull, unless he was reaching for the railing on the slide and pulling himself up the ladder, so he spent the majority of his swim time howling his displeasure at the world.
By the next lesson, Thing 2 had figured out that blowing bubbles in the water and reaching and pulling and catching floating rings had to be done FIRST… and then there would be the slide.
Libby is so stinking cute, I want to pinch her cheeks every single time I see her!
THAT was Thing 2’s swimming class.
He had a great time, and he thinks he may start training to be an Olympic Water Slider.
I just need to make sure he understands that Olympic athletes NEED their sleep. If he’s going to start training professionally on the slide, then he’s going to need to sleep ALL NIGHT LONG, every night, week after week.
Y’all have a happy weekend.