We have had one of those weekends which would probably require a doctor to come in and take pulses, just to make sure the bodies loafing on the sofa were still warm to the touch and breathing. That could be because it rained / snowed / sleeted / rained some more / snowed some more yesterday, and no one had the drive or the ambition to venture outside. It would have just required too many accessories… the umbrella… the snow boots… the heavy coat… It was ever-so-very-much easier to just stay in our pajamas and be the slugs that bring frowns from members of Productive Society.
I did my level best to consume three cups of chai tea, and felt like some sort of Olympic medalist when I drained that last cup.
And then, because I didn’t want to end the day by doing absolutely nothing that even remotely contributed to our household, I washed the dishes. By hand. Because our LG dishwasher has now become that “thing that sits beneath the kitchen counter and doesn’t do any work around here, whatsoever.”
It’s exactly like having a squatter in our house.
So, with nothing newsworthy to report (unless you’re interested in how many episodes of Pawn Stars ran on our TV yesterday… or unless you care that I [yes, me!] watched an entire two-hour documentary on Jesse James and the buried gold that was very possibly hidden by him… the same documentary that LEFT ME WITH A CLIFFHANGER AT THE END THAT MADE ME WANT TO PROPERLY PRONOUNCE BAD WORDS, BECAUSE I GAVE THAT SHOW TWO ENTIRE HOURS!), I will just smack some snapshots of Thing 2’s birthday party from last weekend on the blog.
I do love being prompt and timely.
Thing 2 may also be suffering from the I’M THE SECOND SON syndrome, in which a week must go by before his mother actually pulls his birthday party snapshots off of her memory card.
So yes. Last Saturday afternoon, we invited an entire big herd of toddlers and their families (their mamas and their daddies… their big brothers and their sisters) to come out to the giant multipurpose room at our church, so that we could celebrate the fact that our baby is officially a member of the Terrible Twos Club.
(Although… I think he paid his dues early there.)
I really wanted to be one of those mothers who had a board on Pinterest entitled “Second Birthday Party.” I wanted to be the type of mother who made enormous pom-pom garlands out of tissue paper… who put fancy, specially-printed labels on water bottles that said THING 2 IS 2… who called up a local farmer and asked him to please bring his Massey Ferguson to the party and give all of the toddlers rides in the bucket… and who stayed up late the night before, making a homemade cake covered in fondant and decorated with John Deere tractors and sweat from a loving mama’s brow.
And then I decided that doing all of those things would cause me to need the paddles to recover from heart stress, so I just went with the theme of COME JOIN US IN A BIG ROOM, WHERE TODDLERS CAN RUN WILD, AND WE WILL BRING OUR TWO MINI-TRAMPOLINES, SO THAT TODDLERS CAN ALSO JUMP, AND WE WILL HAVE SUPER CHEAP PIZZA THAT CAUSES HEARTBURN, AND ALSO A BLUE AND GREEN CAKE THAT A NICE LADY IN THE WALMART BAKERY MADE FOR US.
And? Do you know what? We had a blast, even without the tissue-paper pom-pom garland!
Thing 2 ran and ran and ran and RA-AN in that big room, until he was sweating buckets and wheezing. He had an enormously good time, and I think all of his party guests did, too.
And look! Remember my friend, Christy, who went to China last month with her husband to pick up their daughter, Janie, who had been waiting for her forever family for nearly two years?
Well, Janie hadn’t even been home with her family for two entire weeks before she attended her first American birthday party. She was powerfully impressed with Thing 2’s ability to spin like an F-5 tornado and leave a path of destruction behind him.
If you prayed for Scott and Christy’s trip to China when I told y’all that you could, I’m grateful. This little honey is HOME. Home where she belongs! Isn’t she darling?!
And look! Thing 2 gave Janie the biggest IT’S MY PARTY, AND I’LL HUG YOU IF I WANT TO hug that you’ve ever seen in your life. He loves her already, and the snapshot of these two toddlers (who are only six weeks apart in age) makes the tears spring up in my eyes, because Jesus has brought them both to their families, where they will be spoiled rotten with love…
… and have mamas who blog their birthday photos a full week after the party actually happened.
We had pizza.
We had cake.
We had trampolines.
We had homemade carnival rides, where kids could swing upside down at the speed of light, with no safety harnesses or protective eyeware, thanks to Sister’s Husband, whose biceps were tremendously sore when he left the party.
We had kids running everywhere.
We had kids sweating the sweat of Real Fun.
We had a total blast!
And here are all the snapshots to prove it.
Thing 2 ADORED having everyone sing to him. He showed us that he is probably ready for the red carpet and a tuxedo for such things as Opening Night and Charity Balls, because he spread his arms wide and hollered out, “Again! Again!” when we finished our song.
And then two-year-old Cousin H blew his candle out for him, which caused the Terrible Twos to have a small flareup, because HOW DARE YOU EXTINGUISH A MAN’S CANDLE WHILE HE IS HAMMING IT UP FOR THE CROWD AND PREPARING AN ELABORATE BLOWOUT OF HIS OWN?!
So we sang Happy Birthday a second time. Thing 2 cheered for himself a second time. Bethany harmonized a second time. And Cousin H blew his birthday candle out a second time.
It was priceless.
It took no time at all for our toddler to become an absolute pro at ripping wrapping paper off of boxes and tearing open gift bags.
That room resembled a house party in an old John Hughes film… right before the parents came home.
We cleaned it all up, better than the top-rated maids in America could have done, because Mam (Cleaner Extraordinaire) led the Cleanup Committee.
And these friends of mine? Oh! They are sweet and wonderful!
Because who needs an opponent, when you know how to climb the nearby sofa to gain access to the table?
When everything was picked up… when the leftover pizza was distributed to party goers… when all the red Solo cups where in the trashcan… when we had hugged every last guest and thanked them for celebrating with our baby…
… we came home.
And that’s when we found a RATHER LENGTHY gift hanging out of our mailbox, because Keith and Carrie mailed Thing 2 a Colorado Avalanche hockey stick, all the way from Denver.
Do you know what Thing 2 needs? He needs a game that involves fast speed and A STICK IN HIS HAND! Because do you know what kind of damage that toddler can do with a hockey stick? Well… we’re all wearing helmets around our house this week, because Thing 2 can beat the snot out of a puck and send it crashing across a room before you can blink.
And then he can use the stick to gain access to ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING that he wants off of the kitchen counters.
And he can use it to swipe back and forth beneath the sofa, to retrieve lost Matchbox cars that have driven themselves under there.
A Colorado Avalanche hockey stick is the gift that just keeps on giving.
And that’s a wrap tonight, people.
Y’all have a very merry Sunday evening.