I know that you’ll be happy to hear that all the world is right again.
Except for areas heavily riddled with crime and riots and Ebola and low populations of Christianity. Nothing is right there. But at our house, all is right, once again, because I found Starbucks’ Tazo Chai in a K-cup today, and I’m pretty sure I squealed like a pink piglet in the world’s best mudhole when I saw it. It is not my usual, Oregon Chai brand, that I make at home, but SWEET MERCY! I came home this afternoon and had my first cup, and I forgot all of my problems in the hot perfection. My next mission is to just throw the off-brand of chai K-cups in the garbage can, because life is just too short to store bad chai in your pantry.
And speaking of pantries, look what I found in OURS today:
Now, I realize that my pantry is lovely enough that pinners everywhere are smacking snapshots of it onto their own Pinterest accounts, right and left. I hesitated even putting this picture on the blog tonight, because I’m kind of like Monica Geller, on Friends, exposing that I work diligently to keep a clean house… but I hide filth behind closet doors.
Or pantry doors.
While I was making my bed first thing this morning, I heard Thing 2’s voice holler, “Wow! He’s really high!” You can bet that I ran across our house at speeds that would have qualified me for Olympic sprints, and THAT is what I found.
(And yes, Thing 2 calls himself “he” all the time. As in, “He wants a drink!” and “He wants an apple!” and “He wants to go to park!” and “He’s really high!” I think all the parenting handbooks would encourage me to correct his pronoun usage by restating, “I want a drink,” but this is too cute. It makes my heart melt with all the sweetness, whenever he looks at me and says, “Mommy, he wants a hug.” I hope it sticks around for a few more months yet.)
Anyway. I had hidden a bag of Tootsie Pop suckers on the very top shelf up there… thinking that the toddler would never see them. Apparently my wishful thinking is over, because he found that bag of suckers this morning on his climb, and announced, “He wants a red sucker!”
But yes. I’m just keeping things VERY REAL around here, by admitting our food storage sins through photos. The pantry is a disaster. Plus… we really DO have Cheez-Its and Little Debbie cookies and boxed macaroni and cheese, and you won’t see THOSE THINGS stored in any of the pantries on Pinterest. There are no little wicker baskets with tiny chalkboard labels on them that read JUNK FOOD CRACKERS on Pinterest. No, ma’am. Those little chalkboard labels on those trendy pantry baskets all read ORGANIC, WHOLE GRAIN GOODNESS FOR AFTERNOON SNACKS, BECAUSE THIS MOTHER IS ON TOP OF HER GAME.
Also? Well, Thing 2 needs to take a lot of the blame for our pantry’s condition, because he is CONTINUALLY taking food out of it and carrying it around the house. And then he shoves it back IN to the pantry, and two-year-olds never care to put things back in an alphabetical manner, with the labels facing front and center.
I mean… seriously… just look what they do with a bag of popcorn:
Of course, that snapshot right there was taken AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MESS, because what I don’t have a photo of is when Thing 2 swung his arms like a windmill on speed pills and swept all of that popcorn off the chair, shooting it for fourteen miles across our kitchen floors.
While I was at Walmart today, rejoicing over the Starbucks Tazo chai that I’d scored, I also discovered that Jodi Picoult has a brand new, hardcover book out, and I didn’t waste any time at all tossing it into my card. I never know WHO has new books out these days; I never know WHO has new movies premiering, either. All I know is that Hubs records Gold Rush on the TV, and the DVR fires up to take care of that business at 8:30 every single morning of the week, and THAT is in the middle of Mickey Mouse’s Clubhouse. Every morning, my TV screen gives me the option of 1. Watching Gold Rush. 2. Deleting the recording of Gold Rush and watching Mickey Mouse’s Clubhouse. 3. Continuing to record Gold Rush and shut the TV off. Because we have ninety remote controls to run our TV and DVR and satellite, I never know how to push buttons to get the option that reads, “Continue recording your husband’s show, even though this is the time slot for RERUNS, and he’s ALREADY SEEN THEM ALL, and keep on watching Mickey Mouse, so that your toddler’s head doesn’t spin sideways off his neck in his grief that ol’ Mick has been put on hold while you deal with the message box on the screen.” Why can’t THAT be an option?!
I’m telling you, if it’s not on Mickey Mouse’s Clubhouse or Paw Patrol or Peppa Pig or Barney… I don’t know about it.
One of my greatest pleasures in life is getting my hair cut every two months and catching up on the outside world through all the back issues of People magazine that my stylist saves for me to read in her chair.
Where were we?
So yes. Apparently, Jodi Picoult has a brand new book out, and I am now the proud owner of it.
Because I’m very classy.
(And if you believe that, please scroll back up to look at the condition of my pantry.)
Between the new book and the new chai… well… I got absolutely nothing done this afternoon. Nothing. I had enormous visions of me catching up on the laundry today, because OCTOBER 16th, 2014 was the first day in a month that was COMPLETELY and also UTTERLY BLANK on my calendar. I had NOTHING to do today. Nowhere to be today. No appointments to keep today. I woke up with the smell of fresh laundry on my mind, and I had every intention of doing all the vacuuming and mopping, too, but I’ll be honest with you: Tidying up the pantry never crossed my mind. Not at all.
And then… I started reading my book during the toddler’s naptime, while I sipped my new chai tea…
… and here it is, bedtime and nothing has been accomplished.
I think that’s what tomorrow is for, folks.