When the boy was in elementary school, he could swing a lightsaber like it was his job. He could have lettered in Lightsaber Fights. He could have won the gold medal, and stood while our national anthem played over the speakers, in Lightsaber Battles. He could have stormed the Death Star alone and taken out every Stormtrooper that crossed his path, without breaking a sweat or needing Chewie to swing in with backups.
It’s why, when I started this blog, I called it Jedi Mama. The boy’s Midi-Chlorian level was higher than Yoda’s.
Bless his heart.
And then, somewhere after grade school ended, the boy decided that swinging a golf club was more fun than engaging in hand-to-hand combat with lightsabers. Apparently, he picked up on the small fact that girls prefer boys in the junior high who don’t walk around with a plastic weapon strapped to their waists. I guess we all grow up, and leave the Velveteen Rabbit and the Star Wars gadgets behind.
We’re thinking that The Force… well… just… ISN’T… very strong in this one. Oh, he’s got THE BRAVERY for a good lightsaber fight, but he’s greatly lacking in finesse and grace as he twirls that weapon around.
Plus, he’s very prone to grabbing the red blade, and we all know that can take a hand off and leave you at a genuine disadvantage in front of Darth Vader.
Still, my money is on Thing 2, because Hubs and I both know that he could drop the leader of the Galactic Empire to the floor in a double-leg take-down, and keep him there in a full Nelson, until some bounty hunter counts to ten and holds Thing 2’s right arm up as the winner. Wrestle Mania could be a real thing with the Rebel Alliance.
And really? Well, a Jedi can still get his Letterman’s jacket that way.