We are in the thick of Spring Soccer here in Small Town, USA, which means that we alternate between needing sunscreen and flip-flops, and fur-trimmed parkas and electric blankets during games. Our spring weather is unpredictable, but it likes to really show off during soccer matches.
Two weeks ago, the kids played in the NOW IT’S SNOWING, NOW IT’S MISTING RAIN, NOW IT’S SNOWING AGAIN, NOW IT’S JUST MISTING MORE WET SLOP kind of weather. This week, we played a game where the first half required a jacket and a shiver, while the second half called for some Beach Boys music and tank tops.
We wouldn’t know how to deal with constant sunshine during May here.
The boy’s soccer team is doing really well this season, as we’re winning more than we’re losing, and the kids are actually taking the plays that Coach Paul works them through in practices and making them come alive during game times. This makes Coach Paul shout things like, “Yes! Just like that! That looked fantastic,” right before he hollers, “Oh, my gosh! You’re off-sides!! Scoot back! SCOOT!! BACK!!”
This week, after taking 792 shots on goal, our team won, 5 to 2. I have never been at a soccer game before where the opposing defense was so shaky, that our team dominated their end of the field, while we did nothing but kick the ball against goalposts, kick the ball over the goal net, and kick the ball completely out of bounds.
We suspect that the opposing goalie applied some kind of repellant on the net, that we were going to need a live chicken, a bit of dragon’s breath and six newt eyes to break through.
Thing 2 isn’t convinced that the rec department’s policy of NO THREE-YEAR-OLDS PLAYING IN THE JUNIOR HIGH LEAGUE is actually a good one, and he intends to take his complaints to our city council soon. As a result, I pulled him off the field during the game three times on Monday afternoon, and sighed over the fact that the ref didn’t penalize our team with too many players on the grass.
Eventually, we distracted him from his focus of I NEED TO PLAY IN THIS GAME, COACH! I CAN MAKE MY SHOT GO IN THAT NET!, to HEY! TACO!
Nothing beats a good taco on the sidelines.
After the game, Coach Paul gathered the team together for a little pep talk, which he entitled, THE SCORE SHOULD HAVE BEEN 792 FOR US, BUT I’M HAPPY WE PULLED OFF A BIG W HERE. Of course, the subtitle was, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO WON OR LOST, AS LONG AS WE ALL HAD A GOOD TIME AND NOBODY NEEDED STITCHES.