You’ve Never Looked Prettier… Until Your Throat Got All Dry

I’m not bragging (except I probably am), but listen:  By this time tomorrow, I will be sipping wine as I celebrate the fact that I am on SUMMER VACATION.

Two days ahead of the boy.

(*insert the laugh of a mad scientist here*)  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Because teaching part-time has its perks, which are not INSURANCE, RETIREMENT FUNDS or PUFFY PAYCHECKS.  But EARLY SUMMER VACATION?  Yes.  Nailed it.

The end of this school year is really quite bittersweet, because I only teach pre-kindergarten through 4th grade PE classes.  Although our private Catholic school goes through the 8th grade, another teacher covers the gym classes for the upper school.  This year, my 4th graders have been nothing short of a genuine blast.  I have loved the dickens out of them this year, and, although YES!  I WILL SEE THEM AROUND THE SCHOOL FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS YET, I won’t actually be their teacher any more, and THAT makes me very sad.  They were an athletic bunch of boys, who just caught on to everything that we did.  We got to skip so many skills sessions, and just move right into LOOK!  A REAL GAME OF BASEBALL WHERE EVERYONE CAN HIT AND CATCH, AND Y’ALL KNOW WHICH BASE IS FIRST.

And then the boy… you know… has three more days left before he is an official high school kid, and THAT makes me want to sit on the floor of my dark closet and cry myself into a ball of snot, complete with shoulder shakes, while I look at his baby pictures and become a dramatic, emotional wreck.

Then, with the fact that I won’t have recess duty for the next three months of vacation, I’ll miss conversations like this, which happened today on the playground…

Kid 1:  Our pet worm, named Wormy, is dead.  He was drowning in a mud puddle during the first recess, and we rescued him, but he died between first and second recesses today.

Me:  Oh, I’m so sorry.

Kid 2:  Well, Wormy is in Heaven now, because when you die, you go to Heaven.

Kid 1:  Not always.

Kid 3:  I actually don’t know if I’m going to Heaven any more or not, because my sister kicked my Lego ship over yesterday, and I called her an ugly pig, and I meant it.  I’ll probably have to go to confession, and I just hope that I don’t die before that.

Kid 2:  Well, you won’t die until you feel your throat going all dry.  When people die, their throats dry up because they quit swallowing spit, and then that’s the end of them.  So if your throat feels really, REALLY dry, you’re probably almost dead.

Seriously… how can a person not LOVE KIDS TO PIECES?!  Because these three kindergartners are so precious to my heart.

In other news, I had a dream last night that Sister painted her toenails hot pink.  After that, she seemed so impressed with her artwork, she just KEPT PAINTING, until she’d completely painted the tops of her feet, her heels and her ankles.  The real kicker is that BOTH OF US thought she looked incredibly fabulous in my dream.

One of us may have said, “I don’t think you’ve ever looked prettier!”

And one of us may have said, “I just wish there was someone here from a magazine who could photograph me so I could be in it.  I think my feet look so amazing!”

If I ever write a book, I’m pretty sure I’ll call it, You’ve Never Looked Prettier, and Other Things Said By Sisters Who Have Flipped Their Rockers Over and Now Reside In The Asylum.

Y’all have a happy Tuesday night.

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