A Real Gentleman Always Has Sparkly Teeth And Minty Breath

ME:  (after I had been loading the dishwasher in the kitchen, with the water running and realizing that I hadn’t heard Thing 2 in a few minutes)  Hey… where are you?

THING 2:  (coming out of the boys’ bathroom, with a soaking wet shirt)  I’m right here!

ME:  (absolutely dreading the hearing of the answer that was coming)  Why is your shirt all wet?  What have you been doing?

THING 2:  (flashing me a giant, tooth-filled grin)  Well, I brushed my teeth all by myself.  They’re sparkly, and my breath is minty.

BIG PAUSE…

THING 2:  And, Mom?  You need to buy some more toothpaste at the store now, because we’re all out.

The entire tube of Crest was on two of the four bathroom walls… and the sink… and the mirror… and the toilet… and the vanity… and the rug… but… MINTY BREATH!!

There are just not enough words to explain the depth of my love for this stinker.

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