The Question Is: What Is Defense, Alex?

Let me tell you about my day.

Hubs had one of his bi-annual teeth cleaning appointments at the dentist’s office first thing this morning.  It’s because Hubs doesn’t like to take time off work for trivial things, like getting plaque scraped off his teeth and being handed a brand new toothbrush, so he schedules things like that for 7 AM.  And really?  Why not?  By 7:00 in the morning, we’ve already been up for two entire hours, celebrating the joy that is THE EARLY-RISING PRESCHOOLER and cradling our coffee mugs like they’re precious, liquid gold.

Except this morning?

Said preschooler slept in until 7:10.

I kid you not.  I’m fairly certain that he read the big calendar on the kitchen wall before bedtime last night and said to himself, “What?  The old man’s gotta be out the door by 6:50 in the morning?  Well… I think I’ll just pull my TWICE IN A LIFETIME event of sleeping in tomorrow.”

And he did.


So that was really pleasant that we were all up in the wee dark hours of the morning, without the kid who normally wakes us up then, when we could have been sleeping in until 7:10 ourselves, because who are we kidding?  I may have had to get up two hours before going anywhere in the ’80s, because getting a Rave home permanent to stand at attention with half a can of Aqua Net took TIME and MUCH MANUAL LABOR.  Now days, I’m the queen of unwashed hair and top knots, because it’s only PE.

And because I have no shame.

Then… in PE this week, we are working on the concepts of OFFENSE and DEFENSE.

(Offense is when Payton Manning has the ball and defense is when the Chiefs intercept his throws.)

(In case you were confused.)

We have been working on offense and defense for two weeks now, and I’m determined that by the end of this week, all of my little tykes in the gym will be able to tell me the difference between the two, as we play soccer.

SOCCER.  That word will be important in a moment.

Today, we reviewed the offense and the defense.  We talked about how the offense will have possession of the soccer ball, and how they’ll work to score goals on the other team.  We talked about how defense will work to guard their goals, and keep the ball from being kicked into the net.

My lesson was filled with quick, one-minute games of six-on-six soccer, with three kids playing offense on a team and three playing defense.  We talked about how the three kids in the front would cross the center line of the gym with the ball and work together to score a goal.  And then I said, “So what will the three kids in the back line be doing?  What will they be playing, while the other three play offense?

The 1st graders, who were all gathered around me, threw their hands high into the air, begging to be called on to answer the question with the words PLAYING DEFENSE.  I called on one little girl, who was enthusiastically waving her hand back and forth and whispering the words, “Pick me!  Pick me!”  Well, I picked her, and I said, “E, what will the three kids in the back row of this soccer game be playing?”

She yelled out, “They’ll be back there playing basketball!!!!”

People, she answered my question with PRIDE.  She thought she’d nailed it.  She grinned from ear to ear.

We may be working on offense and defense next week, too.  Maybe it’ll be a lesson that has to continue through April, because NO KID LEFT BEHIND.  We will all know that basketball isn’t what the back line of a soccer team is playing when we wrap up 1st grade this year.

After that, I ate a burrito in the teachers’ lounge for lunch.  When I bit into the thing, it exploded in a volcanic eruption of meat and beans and cheese and sour cream, sending a baseball-sized glob right smack into my hair.

I believe the word you are looking for that describes my afternoon fashion style is CLASSY.

And it also means that I’ll have to wash my hair tomorrow.  I may have no regrets about not using the shampoo on a daily basis, because MESSY BUN!!, but I draw the line at BEANS AND CHEESE IN THE HAIR.  That bit of dried-crunch will have to be taken care of tomorrow morning.

Y’all have a good Tuesday.

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