What do you do when it’s raining, raining, RAIN!! ING!! outside, and you’re going stir-crazy inside, and your mama thinks if she sees you spend another second watching TV, she’ll pull her own hair out by the roots, because GOOD PARENTS DON’T LET THE TV RUN ALL DAY!??
Well, you pull the last eight paper towels off your roll of Bounty, and then you use masking tape to smack the cardboard tube onto the side of your kitchen cabinets.
I’m sure some mothers on Pinterest might do this by first covering the cardboard roll with some scrap Lily Pulitzer fabric they had just lying around the house and fancy washi tape, that looks exactly like this:
(Although I totally made a broccoli and ham casserole last night, with Campbell’s Cream of Broccoli Soup in it, so maybe I am Fancy.)
One Bounty paper towel roll and some strips of masking tape… and you’re suddenly in business for the rest of the afternoon.
Thing 2 spent a sweet forever pushing small toys through that paper towel roll, and letting them drop into a bucket. Actually, it was the back end to his dump truck, but it served the purpose of bucket, because Reba ain’t never called him Fancy, neither. He categorized his toys… WHAT FIT THROUGH THE TUBE and WHAT DID NOT FIT THROUGH THE TUBE. He made a pile of stuff HE THOUGHT MIGHT FIT and stuff that he was PRETTY SURE WOULD NOT FIT, and then he tried them all. He had a ball with it.
1. Grab a toy.
2. Shove it in the paper towel roll.
3. Clap your hands like a lunatic, when it fits all the way through the tube and lands in the back of your dump truck, which apparently needs some body work, as it is currently separated from the cab of the dump truck.
4. Holler at your mama, “It fit! The toy Paw Patrol puppy fit! It landed in the bucket, Ma! But the excavator doesn’t fit. It’s too big, Ma! Hey, Ma! Watch this! WATCH THIS, MA! WATCH IT, WATCH IT, WATCH IT!!! I’m going to put the tiny car in now!”
… you can just yank it all off the kitchen cabinets, and use the dadgum thing as a megaphone, as you shout through it for the rest of the evening.
My only recommendation for next time would be a small nerve pill, because the paper towel roll does a perfectly lovely job of amplifying the voice on a three year old.
Happy Tuesday, y’all.