PE And Broccoli And Birthdays

We have seven more school days here in Small Town, USA.

That translates into THREE more days of gym classes for me.

My paycheck also translates into BROKER THAN FULL-TIME TEACHERS, so it all evens out in the end.

Today was one of those days… when everyone cried at school.  The emotions were running high.  The tattle tales had set their dashboards to Hyper Drive, as they moved forward to heartily complain about SHE CUT IN LINE, and HE TOOK THE BALL AWAY FROM ME, and I HIT HER WITH A DODGEBALL AND SHE WOULDN’T LEAVE THE GAME, and HE’S LOOKING AT ME, and SHE TOOK MY GYM SHOE.  I spent the greater part of my PE classes today pretending that I was Judge Judy.  I heard complaints and listened to testimonies, and then I passed judgement and handed down LOST RECESS MINUTES as consequences.

And then the teachers all gathered in the school lounge, where we drew straws to see who has to clean the microwave before Memorial Day Weekend hits us, right before we gave each other pep talks.

“You can do it!  You is smart… you is pretty… you will survive until the third of June.”

And then we high-fived one another and went back out to face the tattle tales with strengthened spirits.

It’s why I have no real blog post for tonight.  I taught PE all day long, and then I rounded up my own kids from grandma and golf, and then — THEN!! — they informed me that they were starving.  In other words, they required real food and not a bowl of cold cereal with a side dish of PEELED BANANA, so I whipped out something nutritious.

Broccoli Taco Bowls.

I know… I know.  I’d never heard of them either, but here’s the thing.  You steam broccoli, and you throw it all into a bowl.  And then you make TACO STUFF, by browning hamburger and onion and cheap packets of taco seasoning mixes, and all of that goes on top of the broccoli.  And then, so it’s not gloriously healthy, you add cheese and sour cream.

My boys’ noses picked up the scent of MAMA’S MAKING TACOS.  What their noses failed to detect was MAMA’S ALSO GOT STEAMED BROCCOLI GOING ON IN THE KITCHEN.  I wish I had video coverage of their shock, when they realized that MAMA AIN’T GOT ANY FLOUR TORTILLAS OR CRUNCHY CORN SHELLS THIS EVENING and MAMA EXPECTS US TO HAVE BROCCOLI WITH THESE FAKE TACOS.

In other words, all the crying that I heard at school today just continued at home, once dinner was served.

And then?

Well, we had to go to the boy’s band concert, because his band teacher is under the impression that families don’t have anything else going on during the fourth week of May.


In other news… in an effort to save this blog post from completely derailing… today is my sister’s birthday.  Sister is good and kind and in love with Jesus, and today she is far older than twenty-nine.

I posted THIS onto her Facebook page today:

8f982c313e5e881b91ae08464e5929b8Feel free to call Sister up this evening and wish her joy and happiness in her elderly age.

Let her know that cucumbers really are the way to reduce wrinkles and fine lines around her eyes.

CucumbersAnd then tell her she was the cutest little whipper snapper you ever did see!

Scan1Happy birthday, Sister.  I love you to pieces, even though you really were the one who broke my Chicago tape in 1989.


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