If your family is looking for a fun way to spend an evening, strengthening relationships and bonding like crazy, may we recommend deliberately, AND ON PURPOSE WITH PREMEDITATION, pouring half of a bottle of lavender-scented baby oil onto the tiles of your bathroom floor?
The similarity to ice skating is incredible; it’s also a lot like greasing up the bottom of your sled with a cup of Valvoline at the top of Mount Everest, which certainly spells out FUN FOR ALL, while you try to brake the beast before you reach the bottom. The amount of aerobic activity you’ll gain from this event is right up there with running the Boston Marathon or swimming the breast stroke from Manhattan to England. Your arms will flail like windmills, and your quads will feel the burn from all the effort involved in staying upright, so go ahead and have that extra slice of homemade chocolate cake after dinner. Go ahead and have that extra bottle of wine after dinner, too! After all, you incinerated all those calories in the bathroom earlier!
Plus? Well, the scent of lavender that fills the air is famous for calming young children right before bedtime. The lavender aroma will put your young puppies right to sleep, with smiles upon their faces.
For cleanup, the list of what you’ll need is simple. You just need forty entire minutes, three gallons of Dawn dish soap, a Shark steam mop, and all the cuss words you can remember.
I’m sorry that we don’t have any actual pictures of our family, participating in POUR THE BABY OIL ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR. The black cloud of stress hanging out above my head didn’t match my shirt, so I declined the photo opportunity, but rest assured… #GoodTimes… #FamilyTogetherness… #FeelThatBigBurn… #ReadyForHockeySeason… #MamaIsReadyForWine…