How Do We Love Thee, Air Conditioning? Let Us Count The Ways!

Do you know this man?

carrier-history-willis-carrier-519x219-070114My guess is that you more than likely do not, seeing as how he was born in 1876.  And 1876?  Well, that puts a person at an age that’s beyond even my own.

Anyway.

That man’s name is Willis Carrier, and I’d like us all to stand up and give him a nice slow-clap, because Willis invented air conditioning.  Willis lost me at that part in his online biography where it states that he realized he could “dry air by passing it through water to create fog,” because that’s entirely too much science for me.  Could I add punctuation to his written theories and essays, and let him know when he dangled participles?  Yes.  I could do that.  Could I contribute anything to lab work, other than to ask him occasionally if he’d like me to make a ham sandwich while he continued inventing fog?  No.  It’s because drying air with a trip through some water isn’t something that I’m familiar with, but let me tell you this:

I appreciate Willis Carrier this week and what he has done for mankind.

God bless central air conditioning, because this week has been hot enough to melt rock.

Anyway.

Thing 2 had his first soccer game this evening, and sadly, I didn’t have my camera with me.  My very full-to-the-brim-with-all-the-pictures memory card wouldn’t talk nicely to my Apple computer, so guess who still has a full memory card that refuses to hold one more photograph?

Yes.  That would be me.  I need to find a nice IT guy to look at my computer and determine why she’s being all grouchy to me when I ask her to do something simple, like HERE.  PUT THESE PICTURES IN THIS FOLDER AND KEEP THEM THERE UNTIL FOREVER.  It’s not rocket science, Apple!

It’s hard to play soccer when it’s 427 degrees outside.  It’s hard to breathe when it’s that hot.  My lungs kept igniting, and the sweat made me feel like I’d just showered in a sauna.

During the first half of the game, Thing 2 was playing defense.  A little girl from the opposing team came downfield, heading right for him.  He swiftly took the ball away from her, turned around with it, dribbled it straight for the other team’s net…

… and promptly scored a point for them.  He cheered for himself and grinned from ear to ear, and kind of did a little celebratory dance to let everyone know that YES!  I KICKED THAT SUCKER IN THERE!

Then… when one of his teammates gently and oh-so-softly kicked the ball across the line, the ref blew the whistle and announced, “Out of bounds!”  Thing 2 must’ve missed that part, because he plowed full force into the ball, stole it away before the referee could get to it, took it on a breakaway clear down the field — the ENTIRE field, from one goal net to the other — dribbled it around his own net, came back into bounds on the opposite side of his net, and BOOM!

He scored again.

There was just that little technicality about how the ball was out of play before he played it.

Rules, schmules.

In the second half of the game, the heat slapped Thing 2 across the face like a horrid enemy, and he asked his coach if he could just lay down in the grass, right there on the field, in the middle of the game.  After he gathered enough strength to sit upright again, with the game going on around him, he picked a couple of dandelions and pointed out that there was an airplane streaking across the sky.  Our boy was SO OVER soccer in the heat.

After Thing 2’s game, we picked the boy up from the golf course, where thankfully he enjoyed working indoors in the pro shop, with all the air conditioning surrounding him, and then we had ice cream for dinner.

Yes.  We did.

WE HAD ICE CREAM FOR DINNER.  I’ll even shout it out in all caps.

That’s what this summer has come to.  It’s too hot for real food.

Y’all have a merry weekend, and don’t forget to celebrate Willis Carrier’s achievements, as you crank your thermostats down to 31 degrees tonight.

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