THING 2: (as he was climbing into my chair, right behind me): “Before you read me that book, Mom, I just want to do one thing.”
ME: “What one thing?”
THING 2: “I’m going to give you a haircut. I already got the real scissors.”
And THAT is how I managed to jump out of a rocking chair so quickly, I knocked it over, along with my preschooler and the pile of books we were going to read.