Three Quick Things

Sometimes on Tuesday nights, my brain reaches maximum capacity, and I lose the ability to type coherent sentences.

In other words, my Tuesdays aren’t really all that different than the other days of the week, except by Tuesday night, I’ve taught seven back-to-back PE classes and witnessed horrors the likes of which would make your stomach turn.

Today, one of my four-year-old pre-kindergarten kiddos ate a booger the size of a cherry tomato off of his finger.  I told his teacher that I was going to recommend that he drop PE and pursue two music classes instead.

I was also handed a sneaker with a knot that could only be solved by members of Mensa, so I dove right into it.  The information that would have been critical to have BEFORE I touched the shoelaces was this:  THE LACES ON MY NIKES ARE WET.  THEY ARE WET, BECAUSE I USED MY TEETH TO TRY TO BITE THE KNOT OUT.  I DROOLED EVERYWHERE.  YOU JUST TOUCHED A PETRI DISH OF FILTHY GERMS AFTER I FAILED TO CHEW THE KNOT LOOSE.

Oh, well.

I just have a couple of quick things for you, because I really need to crawl into bed and recover from the booger-eating post traumatic stress syndrome I’m suffering from.

1.  We hit the hometown, high school football game on Friday night.  Thing 2 met up with his two closest lady friends, and the three of them caused us to be out of our seats no fewer than 42,000 times.  Our fit-bits exploded with all the walking we did around the bleachers and around the football field and around the concession stand, and back and forth to the potties.  The junior high school girls, who were running back and forth between reapplying their lip gloss and talking to junior high boys, were so enamored with Thing 2 and his little friends, that they were happy to pass out glow-in-the-dark bracelets.

Our trio was bedecked in a hideous amount of light-up jewelry, that would have made Liberace sit up and exclaim, “Am I bedazzled too much?”  Thankfully, it solved the problem of keeping track of them in the dark.  We just looked for the mass quantities of glowing jewelry that made the three of them look like an airport runway.

img_76432.  On Sunday afternoon, Thing 2 and his best buddy met up at the park to play, while their mamas talked.  And talked.  And also talked some more.

The boys hunted dragons, captured dragons, killed dragons, skinned dragons, and resharpened their swords for more dragon hunts.

And then they opened a pizza restaurant, where the signature crust tasted a whole lot like playground mulch.  Their talents are quite diversified.   They can hunt the dragon, whip up a lovely dough, and make Dragon and Mushroom Pizza that will make you weep with its deliciousness.

img_28643.  It’s Spirit Week at Small Town High this week, because of Homecoming.  The kids are dressing up every day, under a theme.

Today’s theme was SEMI-FORMAL.

Behold, the resident sophomore:

img_2878The boy took SEMI-FORMAL to mean HALF FORMAL.  He wore a vest, suit jacket and tie, along with a pair of raggedy gym shorts and sneakers.  Clever little stinker.

And, at the risk of sound like the ending of an old Looney Tunes cartoon…

… That’s all, folks!

May your Tuesday evening involve warm fireplaces, thick blankets, and much sleep.  I say this because it was 43 degrees here in Small Town today, with a crosswind that caused the windchill to register at ICE CUBES WITH A SIDE OF FROSTBITE.  Welcome, Winter.

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