The Trick-Or-Treating Recap

Do you know what today is?

It’s All Saints Day.

What this means is that it’s a holy holiday at our little private Catholic school, so NO SCHOOL!  NO SCHOOL FOR OUR BELOVED LITTLE CATHOLIC CHILDREN TODAY!  Thankfully, this NO SCHOOL situation held true for Baptist PE teachers, too.  The honest truth is that, since I only teach two days a week, the holy days never seem to fall on my teaching days, so BLESS MYSELF, but I never, ever get the random holy day off in the middle of a work week.

No, ma’am.  It’s ALL THE DODGEBALL, ALL THE TIME for me.

So, you can imagine my joy when I found out over a month ago that All Saints Day was GOING TO HIT A TUESDAY!!  Goodbye, PE; hello, DOING NOTHING WHILE MY OWN CHILDREN ARE IN SCHOOL!!

This was pretty much my behavio:

I Love Kellie Pickler excited kellie pickler ecstatic cmt

Add to that the fact that I could sip coffee quietly, all by myself, on NO SCHOOL / ALL SAINTS DAY, on the day AFTER Halloween, where I could SLOWLY recover from all the trick-or-treating hoopla from the night before, and I was looking a win-win deal straight in the face…

… until the housekeeper that I can’t really afford said that she would be by first thing this morning to do all the cleaning.

Which meant that I felt horribly guilty about her cleaning, while I sat and sipped coffee, while I occasionally jumped up to spin circles of joy and clap my hands together, so I got up, rinsed out my mug, and joined her.

Yes.

It’s true.

I spent my GIFTED FREE DAY cleaning my house, right beside our little housekeeping gal.  I worked up a sweat, scrubbing down my laundry room and wiping cabinets and disinfecting ALL THE THINGS, but, in the end, I sat back, surveyed a house that was spic-and-span, and heaved an enormous sigh of relief.

And then I promptly booked a hotel for our little family of four tonight, because clearly, we cannot make any plans to eat dinner here or sleep here this evening, or all of my free-day-cleaning-efforts will be wasted.

So, that’s what I did today, instead of leisurely sipping hot coffee with gobs of half-and-half in it, while I dug through Thing 2’s candy basket, pilfering Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Because that candy basket?

Sweet mercy, but Thing 2 hit the mother load vein last night.

We started at Grammy and Papa’s place.  Grammy put an entire grocery store worth of chocolate into Thing 2’s pumpkin bucket, and then he grabbed four granola bars, a box of cheese-flavored crackers, and a bottled water from her pantry, all on his own, before he left.  Apparently, he was stalking up on staples before winter hits.

img_3426We chased that down with a trip to Mam and Pa’s house, where Mam laid out her chocolate offerings on the kitchen island and let Thing 2 and the boy pick their happiness.  Thing 2 picked away, and then ended up eating his weight in Kit-Kat bars.  I believe this was his attempt to SUGAR LOAD before the marathon trick-or-treat session began later.

img_3429 img_3431We were set to team up with good friends for trick-or-treating at 6:00 last night.  Thing 2 only asked if it “was 6:00 yet” seventeen thousand, four hundred and seventy-one times.

Thankfully, 6:00 finally happened.  It was a green light for trick-or-treating, and the princess and the MINJUN Turtle ended up with more sugary snacks than they could successfully lift in their buckets and run with.

img_3433 img_3435The 1920s gangster joined us, but gangsters are entirely too cool to knock on doors and beg for free treats.  However, they are not too cool to steal chocolate from their brothers’ baskets when said brothers aren’t paying attention.

img_3440 img_3444After practicing their trick-or-treat skills at Tyler and Heather’s house in a Halloween Dress Rehearsal, and learning exactly how to shout, “TRICK-OR-TREAT,” hold their buckets out and SAY THANK YOU, we were off.

img_3451 img_3456Two houses down the road, we learned that what we HAD NOT covered in the dry run practice session was this:

DON’T STAND ON THE DOORSTEP AND POUND THE DOORBELL 1,000 TIMES BEFORE THE HOMEOWNERS OPEN IT.

I’m fairly certain that the Minjun Turtle and the Pretty Princess rang each doorbell forty-two times before doors were thrown open to greet them.  Thing 2 also perfected the GRAB-AND-GO method of trick-or-treating, while the princess was quite content to examine the goodies in her bag and walk a little slower, so she didn’t leave a glass slipper behind.

Sadly, she wasn’t successful at that.

Backup sneakers had to be brought in as a replacement team for the glass slippers, which were left on every set of front porch steps that she climbed.  Also, Thing 2 ditched his Minjun Turtle mask, because of I CAN’T SEE!  I CAN’T SEE!  I CAN’T SEE, MOM!!!  Thankfully, our wardrobe adjustments were easy to accomplish last night.

img_3449 img_3459 img_3461 img_3463 img_3468 img_3475 img_3479We pretty much walked a half marathon last night.  We stopped to admire some friends’ cleverness, as they had brought their fire pit out to their front driveway, where they were making S’more for all the costumed kids.  We even managed to BARELY survive a haunted front porch.  The porch was dark and covered with spider webs and ghouls dangling from the rafters.  When our VERY LITTLE CHILDREN walked up to the darkened front door, the home-owning ghoul, who was dressed all in black and hiding in the shadows, stood up and growled.

The princess screamed and Thing 2 slammed his arm across her chest to prevent her from getting any closer.  From the front sidewalk, we heard him shout, “Stay back, Vivian!”  I won’t lie.  My mama’s heart was super proud of him for protecting her like he did.  And then I pretty much wanted to go kick an adult ghoul in the shins for scaring our preschoolers like he did.

And then ask me how badly I wanted to kick his shins at 11:30 last night, when Thing 2 woke up from a deep sleep, screaming horrendously because he’d had a bad dream.

But, the one scary front porch and the following nightmare aside, our Halloween was a successful one.  We are completely LOADED with peanut butter cups and Hershey’s and miniature Snickers and Twix candy bars.

Plus, my ENTIRE HOUSE IS CLEAN.

I’m writing it all off as a major WIN.

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