Handling Monday Like It Was Easy

Well… it’s not Mother’s Day any longer.  I know this to be true, because I woke up this morning to a kitchen piled high with dirty dishes and leftover groceries for the pizzas Hubs made with all the kids, while I was lingering over a lunch with friends downtown yesterday.  There were a lot of shrugs this morning when I asked who planned to scrub gunk off of plates and get them loaded into the dishwasher, as everyone looked to everyone else, before they left for work and school.

So… you know… I was the only one left at home this morning.

Hello, counters full of dirty dishes.  You’re all mine, because Mother’s Day expired at midnight.

While everyone was attaining higher educations and solving the world’s issues with global computer viruses, I brought order back to our home, where only chaos had existed at 6:30 this morning.  Beds got made, dishes got done, laundry got itself folded and put away, cats got fed, a full cart of groceries got bought, and then I got to go to the ball.

Just kidding.

I can’t walk in high-heeled glass slippers without crushing some vertebrae in a dramatic fall, so I stayed home to cook dinner, too.

But yes.  It really was back to the real world today, after a weekend of pure fun.

Speaking of pure fun… aren’t these two cousins about as adorably cute as cute can get?!  They are the best of friends, and they bring the FUN to any party.

On Friday night, Hubs and I took Thing 2 out to practice rollerblading, while the boy went golfing with friends.  Our preschooler skated all over the place, as he showed us he’s nearly ready for a roller derby team.  We came home when the dark was settling in, and we ate dinner like we were fancy Europeans who think 8:30 in the evening is an acceptable time for a breakfast casserole that Mama made for dinner.  Thing 2 didn’t get to bed until 10:00 Friday night, which never happens at our house.  Hubs and I are also known as the Bedtime Police.  We patrol the 8:00 hour like officers trying to make captain, because Thing 2 is not famous for sleeping in.  Regardless of what time he goes to bed at night, he is still going to be up at the crack of YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME the next morning.  Going to bed LATE simply insures that we wake up grouchy and whiny.

Oh.  And Thing 2 wakes up grouchy and whiny, too, which totally matches his parents’ dispositions.

But, for some reason, the Lord saw our late bedtime on Friday night, and He decided to bless it.

Thing 2 slept until 7:45 on Saturday morning!

Y’all!  Thing 2 has NEVER slept in like that before!

Hubs and I slept until 7:45 as well, and I’m here to tell you that our entire lives were changed!  I felt exactly like a sinful college student, who had slept until 2:30 in the afternoon.  I told  Hubs that we needed to build an altar and thank the Lord for His blessings.

At 8:00 on Saturday morning, Mam called and announced that she was going grocery shopping and then to the greenhouse to buy a new tree.  She wanted to know if Thing 2 would like to join her.  And THAT, people, is why we were scrambling around at Sprint Speeds, to get our second son showered, dressed and fed.  Mam arrived at 8:15 to pick him up…

… and she kept him the entire day.  He helped her run errands and plant flowers, and she bought him new Legos to build at her house with Pa.

Meanwhile, the boy slept until 11:45 on Saturday morning, because he IS a sinful teenager, who can still get away with that in life.  I’m also pretty sure that the only reason the boy got up so early is because he had to be at work at 1:00.  The poor boy had the entire afternoon and evening shift at the golf course, which really cut into his SLEEPING IN time.

With a quiet house, Hubs and I decided to watch one episode of Timeless on Hulu, because we’d kind of become addicted to the show, with all of its time traveling back to see historical events.  Our JUST ONE EPISODE BEFORE WE GO CLEAN UP ANOTHER FLOWER BED OUTSIDE AND POWER WASH THE DECK, AS WE PROMISED WE WOULD DO became two episodes.

Our JUST TWO EPISODES, ACTUALLY, BEFORE WE GO OUTSIDE TO TACKLE YARD WORK became three episodes.

Our three episodes became WHO CARES?  LET’S BINGE WATCH HULU ALL DAY.  WE ARE GROWNUPS, AND NO ONE IS THE BOSS OF OUR TV-WATCHING ANY MORE!

People!  Never in the history of our adult lives have Hubs and I behaved like such slugs.  We had coffee, and then we had coffee again.  We made popcorn and M&Ms for lunch, when we realized that neither one of us had eaten breakfast, except for our coffees.  Teenagers have never behaved as awfully as we did on Saturday, lounging on our sofas and totally shaking our head to the chores that needed to be done outside.

By 3:00, we HAD to get up from the couch.  We HAD to power Hulu and Timeless down.  We ran to the grocery store, to grab some appetizers, because we were headed to a 4:00 barbecue with friends.

We snagged Thing 2 from my mom, who was at a coffee shop with him, and off we went to celebrate a lazy Saturday with a fantastic barbecue, while the boy worked at the clubhouse, booking tee times and selling golf balls.  I feel like we never see the boy any more, between golf practice, golf tournaments, homework and work, and it makes me sad.

Our friends’ three small boys played with Thing 2.  The four little men jumped on the trampoline, ran a half marathon across the backyard, back and forth, back and forth, engaged in a full-on squirt gun fight with one another, demolished a bedroom by dumping forty-point-nine million Legos all over the floor, and laughed until they couldn’t breathe.  We fed them hot dogs and sodas, and tried to balance out their nutrition with watermelon and guacamole.

Fruits and vegetables are important.

After the tribe had been fed, Hubs and I were treated to a grownup dinner of grilled steaks with caramelized onions and sauteed mushrooms, and cheap wine mixed with Sprite.  We sat at the table with our friends and caught up on life.  We laughed over stories of how ornery our boys can be, and sighed over stories on how downright sweet and filled with Jesus our boys can be.  There was a salted caramel pie for dessert, refills on the wine and Sprite, whiskey for the guys’ Cokes, and we lingered longer and longer.

And somehow, Hubs and I became professionals at staying out with our preschooler exactly thirty minutes past his breaking point.

We came home late, and we ended up with an exhausted, sobbing wreck of a child on our kitchen floor, who was too tired to brush his teeth.  He was too tired to use the bathroom and put his pajamas on, and he let the entire universe know it with his dramatic wails.

So… Yay, us!  Hubs and I survived a meltdown that made the Cuban Missile Crisis look like a little disagreement between first graders on the playground.

We’re totally putting that on our resumes.

Because he had a couple of late nights and a couple of ridiculously busy days, THIS happened… quite by accident!!… this afternoon:

Something tells me that my future self is going to regret that accidental nap that I didn’t interfere with when our clock chimes 8:00 tonight.

And now… after binge-watching TV all day Saturday, as we skipped chores, and after a wonderful evening barbecuing with friends, and after a perfectly lovely Mother’s Day, the re-entry into the real world was a bit tough today.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have two loads of clothes left to fold.

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