I Feel Like My Skating Routine Was On Point

My day started much like yours, I suppose.

Thing 2 was out of bed at 4 AM, in desperate need of Tylenol for the “raging, pus-filled infection of horror” going on in his right ear.  I fumbled my way to the kitchen in the dark, without the help of any bifocal glasses to clear the way for me, and set my hopes on the fact that I would (1) use the Tylenol bottle and not the Children’s Benadryl bottle, and (2) give him the right dose, by eyeballing it with my blurry vision.

I then pretty much convinced Thing 2 that Christmas would be completely CANCELLED, if he didn’t get himself back beneath the blankets and go back to sleep.  Our record for waking up at 4:00 in the morning and actually GOING BACK TO SLEEP is 3,004 to a big fat zero, because we don’t love going back to sleep.  4 AM is considered FAIR GAME FOR COFFEE by our kindergarten kid.

But… the Lord heard my cries from the pit, and He granted me the desire of my heart.  Thing 2 was back in bed, sleeping like a baby, in less than five minutes.  I was stunned.

3,0004 TO ONE!!

I tiptoed straight out of Thing 2’s bedroom, closed his door with all the stealth and silence of a master ninja, and headed toward my own bed, when I hit it.

IT was a giant puddle of wet and slop on the hardwood floor, right outside our bedroom door.  I skated through it like Bambi on the ice… arms flailing, skidding at a high rate of speed toward the hallway wall, spinning in circles, and trying to remain upright.

After forty, the hips are a big liability risk, if one happens to fall.

Apolo Ohno would have gasped at the speed I worked up, crossing the hardwood floors of the hallway this morning…

… especially when I crashed straight into the wall.

Hubs sat bolt upright in bed and yelled, “Watch out!!  The cat just puked right there while you were in Thing 2’s bedroom!”

And that is why I had all the lights on at 4:00 this morning, and why I was packing a full roll of Bounty paper towels and a bottle of Clorox spray out of the kitchen, but I had a better pre-dawn workout than any crossfitter has ever had.  Today was apparently Leg Day, which means I’ll be aching tomorrow.

So… you know… I guess my day started much like anyone’s did, if y’all skied through cat barf before sunrise and then squirted your bare feet with bleach.

In other news, our weekend was a good one.  We started it on Friday night by heading up to Small Town High, to cheer our football team on to another victory.  Fall has hit and it’s hit hard, so we sat in the misting rain and the chilly breeze and wished we had a fifty gallon metal drum to build a fire in.

AND!  I feel like this is such a success in our parenting history, but how many years did it take before Hubs and I finally figured out the best way to attend a hometown football game with our younger boy in tow?!  We went with good friends, and people!  Instead of opting for the bleachers like every other normal Small Town High School football fan, we packed in our lawn chairs with our heavy coats and mittens!  We set up base camp at the South end of the field, where three hundred boys, ages eight to twelve, congregate to play their own version of ghetto-style, tackle football.  Thing 2 and his little buddy were able to run, run, RUN with the big boys, while we sat in the luxury of our own chairs.  Now granted, we four adults were the only folks older than thirteen in this section, but we really feel like it was a Parenting Victory.  Thing 2 was not trapped in the bleachers and forced to REMAIN STILL, and he was fully exercised before bedtime.

If he’d been wearing a Fit Bit on Friday night, it would have caught fire and exploded, from all the movement.  And the adults?  Well, we were powerfully comfortable in our private lawn chairs… as much as anyone can be comfortable when it’s spitting rain and 42 degrees outside in the dark.

On Saturday morning, Thing 2 had earned enough stickers on his LOOK AT ME SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT LIKE I’M A BIG KID chart to earn a new Lego set.

I’m not going to lie.

We’ve been bribing our child to sleep all night with the excitement of earning prizes.  When I mentioned it to his pediatrician this afternoon, while we were there for Ear Infection Number Six Million Four Hundred Thirty-Six, she told me, “Call it a sleep REWARD.  It sounds so much more positive than a bribe.  No one can be offended by REWARDS!”   Mostly, y’all, we’ve had some very powerful prayer warriors who have gone to bat for us on the sleep front in the past two weeks.  The Sleep REWARDS are fun, but we know that they have nothing on the fact that we have a small team of praying folks, who are GETTIN’ IT DONE BEFORE THE THRONE.  These are folks who are on their knees for us, praying when we were too exhausted to pray ourselves, and Jesus has heard.

We have had some rest, which we absolutely DO NOT take for granted.  We have been blessed, straight from heaven with it, and I am honestly struggling to keep the faith that we can win on the field of this sleep battle.  But… if Jesus is FOR US, then not even a lack of sleep can defeat us.


Hubs and Thing 2 built his new Lego set while the boy worked and while I read a book.  We had one lazy, rainy Saturday.

We took Thing 2 to see the new Lego Ninjago movie at the theater, and he was mesmerized.  The best thing about Lego movies is that Hubs and I, who have to sit through them because we are BOY PARENTS, actually laugh out loud at them.  We ate popcorn, we sipped sodas, and we cheered Lloyd the Ninja on to victory.  Afterward, Hubs took Thing 2 swimming, while I got to see the boy for four minutes between his I’M HOME FROM WORK and his I’M LEAVING TO GO OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS.

On Sunday, there was church, and then we spent a couple of hours at the indoor playland with another one of Thing 2’s buddies and six thousand other kids.  Apparently, every parent in Small Town decided that they needed to get the kids out of the house, and WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN IT RAINS?!

These two handsome rapscallions ran for two solid hours.  They ran and they ran… and then they ran some more.  They chased each other; they chased other kids; they climbed, they jumped, they hopped, they scooted through tubes and tunnels, and they crossed the monkey bars more times than I could count.

And then Thing 2 came home and announced that HE WOULD JUST START BAWLING NOW, BECAUSE HIS EAR HURT.

As I was stirring a pot of chili on our stove last night, he tap-tapped me on the side and said, “Mom?  Can you quit making dinner and come hold me for a while?  My ear hurts so bad!”

You can bet that dinner waited.

It waited a long time.

I held that boy pretty much all evening on my lap, while we watched old Tom and Jerry cartoons…

… and then I put him to bed early…

… and we got up at 4:00 this morning for Tylenol and a skate race through cat vomit.

How’d  y’all spend YOUR weekend?!

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