The boys didn’t have school today, because it is Columbus Day. Most years, we celebrate this holiday by gathering the family around the table, where we enjoy a meal reminiscent of old-fashioned ship food. While we gnaw our hardtack, we use brown paper bags to make three-dimensional pinatas of the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria. This year, though, we celebrated in a different fashion.
Hubs worked, because the computer world doesn’t take a break on holidays. The boy went golfing with friends at the crack of ugly. I did enough laundry to make me fear actual wear and tear on my Samsung washing machine and dryer. Thing 2 built an extraordinary boat out of Legos. You might think that he built a replica of a ship that sailed the ocean blue in 1492, but… in all honesty… he built what can only be referred to as a speed boat on adrenaline. It was armed with enormous guns and jet propulsion packs, and the little Lego minifigure at the helm was slammed back in his seat, with his plastic hair sculpted in a cone straight out behind him, from the sheer G force going on. It’s safe to say that Columbus never sailed in anything so fast, seeing as how he didn’t have the rocket fuel necessary to fire this particular bad boy up.
We added a little park play into our day, so that we could take advantage of the gorgeous fall weather, and we called the celebrations good.
And don’t mind me, because I’m just over here, applauding myself for the Olympic accomplishment of EMPTY LAUNDRY BASKETS. There just ain’t nothin’ that makes Mama feel so proud as seeing the bottoms of her laundry baskets does.
Unless it’s a son who minds the first time I ask him to do something. THAT might trump having all the laundry done.
To spare you the boredom of me typing out a list of everything I bought at the grocery store this weekend, I’ll just play a little catch up with what’s been happening around here in the past month. You know… seeing as how I’ve been dreadfully negligent in timely blog posts and all.
We are all still sleeping at our house, which has changed the game plan COMPLETELY. I feel like we’re finally facing the days as varsity starters now, and THAT feels good. We’ve made all kinds of changes and switches to our bedtime routines, but WHATEVER, because we all know that Thing 2’s streak of sleeping all night is a Jesus thing.This past weekend, I popped take-and-bake pizzas into our ovens and celebrated the fact that we were ALL FOUR HOME, at the same time. As in, the boy was at home, on a Friday evening, with his parents. It was reason to celebrate with Hawaiian pizza slices. The boys got into a full-on Nerf gun fight at our house. The boy was on his Swagway, zipping like a fighter jet all over the house, as he chased his little brother down.
That little brother, who was on foot, has the mentality of a professional convenience store robber. He has a sixth sense, when it comes to just knowing when to tuck and roll, as well as when to drop his body and SLIDE across the hardwood floors, straight beneath the sofa, which sits up a mere eight inches off our hardwood floors.
The Swagway can’t compete with that.
And then the boy left to answer the call of friends, who spontaneously said, “Who wants to come over and watch a movie?” Off he went, as seventeen year olds do, when their phones buzz with the excitement of Friday night invitations.
On Saturday, I took family pictures of Sister’s family. She wanted some for possible Christmas cards, come December, and since I cost FREE AMERICAN DOLLARS, the price was exactly right. I feel like the price is also directly reflective of my ability, which is poor, at best.
The boy had to work at 6:00 on Saturday morning at the golf course, because OF COURSE. His little brother decided to sleep until 7:00 that morning, so it was only fair of life to throw us the boy’s alarm blasting off at an unholy hour, in the darkest part of the early morning. Hubs and I just got up for coffee together, which was when we realized that SOMEONE had forgotten to buy half-and-half at the grocery store. Since neither one of us has ever mastered the ability to sip a cup of strong, all-black coffee like John Wayne used to do, we were on our way to a coffee house in the city shortly after Thing 2 woke up.
He got to celebrate Saturday morning with a gluten-free cookie that was a little on the SMALL side.
And then, later on Saturday morning, when Hubs was trying to watch the Avalanche play hockey on TV, as he answered the typical thirty-six million questions Thing 2 is capable of asking in any given hour, Hubs gave up. He walked into the boy’s bedroom closet, and pulled out THE TUB.
The tub is a 40-gallon Rubbermaid tub that is full-clear-to-the-brim of Legos. The boy is stingy with his Lego collection, and he has always forbidden his little brother access to it, as brothers will do. Of course, Hubs helped our five-year-old dump the entire thing out on the living room floor, before he retired to our bedroom, where he watched the hockey game in peace. Meanwhile, Thing 2 spent nearly three hours with that obscene pile of Legos, building to his heart’s contentment, and he completely forgot to plague Hubs with every manner of question on WHAT DO BLACK WIDOWS EAT? and HOW DOES THE SUN GO DOWN EVERY NIGHT? and HOW DO CATERPILLARS ACTUALLY TURN INTO BUTTERFLIES?
Yesterday afternoon, Thing 2 went to one of his best friend’s birthday party. This friend’s mom had a big volcano, which she filled with red powdered Kool-Aide, baking soda and vinegar. The explosion of lava was a site to behold, and every kid there about lost his or her bananas over the eruption, from sheer excitement.
… and immediately, without any hesitation, shoved them ALL straight into the mouth of the erupting volcano. It was exactly like King Julian, offering up the hypochondriac giraffe, Melman, as a sacrifice to the volcano, in one of the Madagascar movies.
And then I’m happy to announce that Thing 2 wiped all the RED KOOL-AIDE lava slop straight onto his shirt, AS YOU DO when you’re five and completely unconcerned about laundry issues.
In other words, the party was a good time.
Last month, one of the boys from my PE class went to the park with us. Don’t tell anyone, but he’s one of my favorites. He is basically a professional basketball player, at the age of JUST 5th GRADE, so he tried to teach Thing 2 the fancy move of dribbling the ball beneath his leg.
That proved to be a difficult task to master, especially considering that the student’s legs were barely higher than the basketball itself. The boys scrapped that lesson, and went on to just play at the park together.
The best thing about bringing a 5th grader to the park with you is that YOU can sit at a picnic table and read a book, while your child is fully engaged and entertained. There’s zero need of you to get up and answer the call of, “Mom?! WATCH THIS, MOM! ARE YOU LOOKING? ARE YOU LOOKING, MOM?”
In another park adventure with 5th grade boys, we met up with good friends of ours who just happen to have our favorite set of eleven-year-old twin boys. We were trapped on our picnic dinner beneath the metal covering over the picnic tables, when the hurricane hit for twenty minutes.
After the storm had passed, the boys ran around the tennis courts in a way that made the Tasmanian Devil seem almost sloth-like. They even had a pushup contest, which Little Man MAY have won. That little boy can do pushups for so long, even Chuck Norris has to sit back and clap.
Attention spans are always fading in little boys. Eventually, the post-storm puddles in the tennis courts lost their attractiveness, and the tiny creek used her siren song to lure the boys in. They jumped that creek, over and over, and kept track of who was jumping the furthest. Although he can hold his own in a pushup contest, Thing 2’s legs cannot compete with the legs of a 5th grader, so he took third place in ALL the jumping events that evening.
Thing 2 has been using his magic markers to draw all sorts of elaborate pictures for friends and family these days. Of course, he also uses those same markers to color his fingers purple and to draw out detailed pirate treasure maps ON THE BACK OF HIS BEDROOM DOOR.
And please include our family in your family’s prayers.
Happy Columbus Day, folks!