My Train of Thought Isn’t Even on the Rails Tonight

1. Hubs and I stayed up until well after 11:00 last night, watching the final episodes of Season 1 of Arrested Development. I know that 11:00 isn’t late to some people. I know to some people, 11:00 is when you HEAD OUT for the evening. They call those people COLLEGE KIDS. Old people tend to take their fiber supplements and go to sleep by 8:30, so staying up until 11:00 can really throw their lives into a tailspin.

2. My life has been in a tailspin most of the day. I feel tired and worn down. I need a nap, and I need it to last for nine hours.

3. Plus, DRY CONTACTS. I would like to find a contact lens that can stay hydrated on my eyeballs until I’m ready for bed. So, you know, totally until 8:30 PM.

4. One of the most fantastic things happened today. I received a text message this morning which read, “Big batches of your cookies have been coming out of my oven all morning. Come over.” People, I have some favorite foods in this world. My mom’s cold spaghetti salad is one of them. I can put my face into the bowl and not come up for air until every last noodle has been slurped. Hubs’ mama’s biscuits and gravy make me feel the same way. They are sweet breakfast perfection. And then there are the chocolate cookies that Missi bakes. It was Missi who sent the text today, and I didn’t waste a lot of time venturing out into the cold weather (BECAUSE, HOLY SNOT, BATMAN! COLD! COLD!) to go gobble some up. I have loved these cookies for a hundred years, and I refuse to let Missi give me the recipe, because…somehow…I think they taste best when she bakes them.

5. I am ashamed to admit it, but I ate six of those chocolate cookies today. I like to refer to it as Camel Behavior. You never know when the next batch of chocolate cookies will be made, so you just stuff yourself while you can, to tide you over through the desert times.

6. And this cold weather? This cold weather, in which today’s high was FIVE? Well, it’s been a long, hard winter this week, and I AM OVER IT. I am not a fan of being either too hot or too cold. I whine under both of those conditions. I told Hubs the other day, “Basically, I want to move to a place where the temperature never goes above 75 and never falls below 40.” I need to sit down with a travel agency or Google, and discover this place that I am dreaming of and see what the real estate market looks like there.

7. This trio of boys? Oh, how I love them!

8. We hauled the trio of boys to the cinema today, so that they could take in Harry Potter Number Two Hundred and Twenty. Or maybe it was just Number Seven. I’ve lost count. Sort of like what happened with the Rocky movies. On the way to the theater, Kellen explained the game Truth or Dare to the boy and Enzo. Bless him for sharing this game and its rules, which he apparently learned from an older friend of his. We ended up playing it in the Suburban, and the topic quickly swung to, “Do you think So-and-So is pretty?” And also, “Would you kiss her?” Thankfully, there were very few yes answers to the first question, and absolutely zero yes answers to the second question. These three boys still consider kissing to be disgusting. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this feeling lasts, with all three of them, until middle age.

9. Listening to their innocent game of Truth or Dare tonight made my heart ache, because they are growing up. No longer are they simply talking about light sabers and Legos during their car rides. GIRLS have ventured into their conversations. My heart ached desperately tonight to slow their growing up down! The boy and Kellen met when they were three years old. They didn’t talk about girls then. The boy met Enzo when he was seven. They didn’t even talk about girls then! But now, tonight, at the age of ten, they did. And I know it’s supposed to happen, but I am not ready for these boys to grow up at all. I became a little weepy, just thinking that, in a year and a half, the three of them will be in junior high!

10. My favorite quote of the evening came when I interrupted the Truth or Dare game and began throwing out the names of 4th grade girls who go to school with the boys, and asking them if they were considered cute. I tossed out a name of one little darling, and I asked, “Is she cute?” There was some snickering. Some hemming and hawing. And then, “Yes! She’s cute! But she’s way too tall! Walking with her is like Darth Vader walking with an Ewok!” I laughed until I wept. The boy and Enzo and Kellen are not known for their tallness, by any means.

11. For the record, Harry Potter #220 is long. And not too scary. The boys loved it. My ADD kicked in with 45 minutes left, and I became fidgety. I twisted. And I turned. And I flopped. And I wanted to go home. I think this is why I’m best suited for old episodes of Arrested Development. They’re 30-minutes of TV syndication. On Netflix, without commercials, they’re shrunk down to twenty-two minutes. My ADD can handle them.

Happy Tuesday night, people.

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