Is a Pound of Sugar Too Much?

Hubs texted me this afternoon while I was at work.  He asked, “Do you think it’s okay if someone just ate three donuts and drank two Mtn. Dews?  Theoretically speaking, of course.”

Considering that I personally witnessed Hubs buying a dozen assorted donuts at the grocery store this morning to take into his office, I do have my suspicions about whether this was a theoretical question or not.  Add to this little bit of evidence the other small fact that Hubs took two twelve-packs of Mtn. Dew into his office last week, and I was pretty much ready for a starring role on an episode of CSI.

CSI:  Small Town.

I questioned Hubs last week about the two twelve-packs of Dew, and he said, “Honey, it’s a little known fact, but I.T. offices run on two things:  electricity and Mtn. Dew.”

So yes.  I’m pretty sure Hubs had quite a buzz going on this afternoon; I just hope he remembered that you always cut the BLUE WIRES while he was playing around with hard drives and motherboards today.

And really?  That’s how our Spring Break ’11 week has panned out.  We haven’t left town.  We haven’t needed sunscreen.  We haven’t had drinks with little umbrellas in them.  We haven’t had our photo snapped with Mickey Mouse.  We haven’t had to dump sand out of our shoes.  But we’ve combined the right things, and we’ve had a good buzz of Pure Fun going all week — just like three donuts and two high-caffeine sodas will do to you.

We’ve had coffee dates with friends, where everyone brought their children, and where the grown-ups tried to talk over all the little squeals and giggles.  We’ve repeated the coffee date at McDonald’s, with all the kids in tow, except we ordered grown-up salads and little kid nuggets.  We’ve had small boys in and out of our house all week long.  We’ve logged countless hours on the four-wheeler and the pitching machine.  We’ve seen some funny movies, and we’ve seen one that made me want to write a letter and ask, “Excuse me?  Wasn’t this film marketed toward CHILDREN?  I guess you blew THAT ONE big time, didn’t you, O Great Film Industry?!” The boy has worn his pirate costume all week long, because he thinks Jack Sparrow is The Bomb. We’ve stayed up late at nights, we’ve been to the Dairy Queen and the park, we’ve attended birthday parties, we’ve grilled steaks and chicken and eaten dinner at 8:00 PM, we’ve had long talks with close friends, and we’ve been to the convenience-store-slash-gas-station to secure worms for the frogs, because Brother’s Wife insisted that this would be a little delicacy for our amphibian friends to try.

(For the record, one of the frogs devoured the worms like they were chocolate, while the other little bugger turned his nose up at them and announced, “I don’t eat these things during Spring Break, and I don’t eat them any other week of the year, either!  I will let them drown in my tank before I take a bite out of one of those nasty things.  Bring me a cricket!”)

(For the other record, wearing mascara and my sassy pink scarf that screams out, “We still love you, Cyndi Lauper!” into the convenience-store-slash-gas-station bumped me into the realm of being Plum Overdressed.  Especially considering that the girl standing in front of me, who appeared to be about my age (So, you know, YOUNG!!), was missing ALL of her teeth (ALL!  ALL!) and had a T-shirt on that said, “One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor!” I think I’ll just forgo the make-up and wear my Cloroxing outfit the next time we decide to buy worms.)

So yes, people, when you combine the right ingredients, you’ll either make your hands shake from all the sugar, or you’ll have a flat-out GOOD WEEK at home.

We’ve had BOTH of those end results.

And I’m staging an intervention for Hubs.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *