Shh! Don’t Tell Hubs What His Birthday Gift Will Be!

So the blog week is wrapping itself up, and that’s a good thing, considering that I crossed the streams of Clorox bleach with some generic tub cleaner that attacks mold and mildew and nearly did myself in.

Those Ghostbusters really knew the dangers of crossing the streams.

“Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.”

Yep.  It was true for the Ghostbusters’ laser streams, and it’s true for common household chemicals.  And when you actually DO cross the chemical streams, sometimes your blog posts tilt completely sideways and make very little sense.

(And sometimes that happens even when you DON’T mix the bleach with the tub cleaner.)

No matter.

I have just a couple of things for y’all tonight, and the first one is this.  At exactly 7:15 last night, I hopped onto the World Wide Web and, within minutes, had purchased a new pair of Keen sandals from Zappos for the boy to wear this summer.  (If winter ever gives up the ghost and stops plaguing us with SNOW! AND ICE! AND MORE SNOW! AND COLD! AND FREEZING! that is.)  The boy loves the Keen sandals, and we love the Zappos because of FREE SHIPPING!  AND FREE RETURNS!

At 9:30 this morning, when I checked my email, I had a little note from Zappos that said, “We’d like to make your day.  We’ve upgraded your 5 to 7 business days shipping arrangement to something a little fancier.  Thank you for being our customer, and we hope we made you smile.”  And, people, I DID smile, because HOW NICE!

And when I got home from work today at 4:30 PM, the boy’s Keen sandals were in a box, propped against our front door.  At 4:30, y’all!  As in AT 4:30 THE VERY NEXT DAY, AFTER PLACING THE ORDER RIGHT BEFORE BEDTIME THE NIGHT BEFORE!  I think the boy summed it up nicely when he said tonight, “Mom, Zappos just did a good thing, didn’t they?”

Oh, Zappos!  You had me at HELLO, but now…well…you complete me.  I big-puffy-heart adore you, and I plan to invite y’all over for Thanksgiving dinner this year.

So there was that.

And then…

…have y’all seen The Big Bang Theory on TV?  Hubs and I have yet to see a single episode on TV, during the prime-time broadcasting hours, because we were, apparently, living under a rock for quite some time and had never even heard of The Big Bang Theory.


I know.

But now, because a friend told us that we JUST! HAD! to watch it, we did, and I can honestly say that the days a new Netflix DVD of old T.B.B.T. episodes arrives in our mailbox are the happiest days of the week for me!  I’m hooked on it, because it makes me laugh until my sides hurt.

The show is about two incredibly smart research scientists named Sheldon and Leonard, who work at Caltech as physicists.  (And, in the words of Sheldon, “Smart?  You called me smart?  Why, I’d have to drop my IQ by 80 points to be just smart!”)  Sheldon and Leonard are roommates, who live smack across the hall from Penny, the typical cute, blonde stereotype.  Much like Zappos and myself, Penny had Leonard at HELLO, and he’s managed to take her out on a couple of dates.

No matter.  You don’t really need to know any more of that to enjoy the video clip that I’m going to give you tonight, because all I really want you to see is SHELDON’S SHIRT-FOLDING DEVICE!

Oh, people!  When Hubs and I watched this episode, I laughed so hard I almost had to borrow someone’s inhaler to catch my breath, because I want to buy one of those folding contraptions for Hubs to use!

Hubs, you see, isn’t even aware of the fact that we have a laundry room here.  He thinks that the dirty clothes that he tosses onto the closet floor miraculously wash and dry themselves and somehow make it back onto hangers.  Hubs has never understood how this happens, but he also doesn’t understand how a girl can stay in a Pottery Barn store for five consecutive hours or why she would weep if her hair color doesn’t turn out quite right, either.  Occasionally, if I have a laundry basket in front of me on the kitchen counter, or even on the floor in front of the TV, Hubs will volunteer to fold SQUARE THINGS AND SOCKS.

Square things, as in dishtowels and washcloths.  Socks, as in socks.

Bath towels, although you’d think they would qualify, are RECTANGLES, and therefore COMPLETELY MISS being categorized under SQUARE THINGS.  Hence, bath towels are not folded by Hubs, because of TOO BIG, and because of RECTANGULAR.

Anything that doesn’t fall into either the SQUARE category or the SOCK category is pushed aside in the basket of clean clothes so that I can fold it, and Hubs is quick to say, “I have no idea HOW to fold a T-shirt!”  For the record, before Hubs married me, his clean T-shirts were compacted into roundish shapes resembling basketballs with low air pressure.  Hubs has declared, numerous times, that folding T-shirts is a characteristic that comes on your DNA ladder — you either have the DNA code for the ability to make a nice, tidy square out of a Colorado Avalanche T-shirt, or you don’t; Hubs is quick to maintain that HE DOESN’T.

But low!  All you have to do is watch the video clip long enough to see the T-shirt folding device!  I think it’s ingenious.  Why have I not seen these things before?


Y’all!  Guess what Hubs is getting for his birthday this year??!!  2011 is the year that we take SQUARES and SOCKS up a notch!

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