I would just like to share with y’all that I am on the brink of becoming an Apple Genius.
On. The. Brink.
It’s because I just sat down at the desk here to make an attempt at writing something noteworthy — something where I didn’t discuss the sad state of cleanliness at the Jedi Manor, or games of Words With Friends, or how I tend to complain about hot and cold temperatures — and I had nothing.
Because listen, people.
It wouldn’t work, and I could do nothing with it. So, I banged it on the desk. And I shook it vigorously back and forth. I said kind words to it. I may have even said some UNKIND words to it. And then I decided to troubleshoot, exactly like Hubs is always encouraging me to do. He’s always saying, “Look at the facts; try what you know.”
Or something like that. The facts are, I am head over heels in love with Coffee Mate, and trying what I know would mean that I’d become a professional proofreader somewhere, where I took actual dollars in exchange for my skill, because I’m always the one who notices the missing comma and when a semicolon is inappropriately; used.
That was a joke.
Not that I know WHEN the semicolon has been inappropriately used, because low! I do know that! But that semicolon UP THERE? Yeah. That one. That was a total inappropriate use of one — on purpose. As a joke.
So yes. After banging the mouse around and telling it that I’m going to just see if I can’t find a Dell breed of mice to bring home next time, instead of these swanky little white Apple mice who take it upon themselves to quit working at inappropriate times, I decided that Hubs probably didn’t mean Coffee Mate and proofreading when he told me, at least one hundred times in the past year, to look at the facts and try what I know.
The facts were simple: My mouse died.
Trying what I know wasn’t too bad, either.
I popped the back off the mouse. And I popped the old Duracells OUT. And I put brand new Duracells IN. And now, SWEET MERCY! It’s amazing the incredible technological skills that I have gleaned while living with Hubs, the cute IT guy, because my mouse is running like an Olympian, and I just realized that I genuinely have nothing noteworthy to say, other than the fact that I have no consonants in one of my Words With Friends games. And if THAT doesn’t try a girl’s patience, I don’t know what does. How on earth am I supposed to spell a word with a string of vowels and a Q, but no U?
Have a great weekend, people.