414 Words Tonight. And You’re Welcome For That.

What I have for y’all tonight is a big ball of absolutely nothing.

And, rest assured, I’ve been able to type twenty-two pages about absolutely nothing before, and even pull an A on it in college.  It’s a gift.

What I CAN’T DO is change my own oil, or hang picture frames in a straight line on the wall, or figure out how to watch TV by myself at my house, because, people!  FOUR!  REMOTE!  CONTROLS!  It makes me miss the simpler days of the Montgomery Wards brand television set, with the fuzzy reception and the rabbit ears, that only had a dial.

So tonight you’re going to be blessed with a lot less of THE WORDS, because I don’t seem to have a lot of them at the moment.

OTHER THAN the small story that Carrie texted me yesterday to say, “I’m tellin’ ya, you just never know when you’ll need the Starbucks app.  I had to use it this morning to find a Starbucks on Maui.  I hadn’t had a chai in 4 days.”

Honestly, I tried to work up some genuine sympathy for that girl for her four-day dry spell, but I’m pretty sure it was the phrase “on Maui” that simply killed the sympathy dead.  I texted back and said that I wasn’t even sure if hot beverages were allowed on Maui, because Maui was all about the fruit and the rum and the tiny umbrellas.  And then Carrie informed me that it was SIXTY DEGREES!  SIXTY DEGREES! on Maui, and that the umbrella-topped cups were for afternoon temperatures of SEVENTY-FIVE.

Since Small Town only has THE ONE Starbucks, and since the Jedi Family considers a trip to Wal-Mart to be a weekend vacation, I still haven’t downloaded the app onto my phone yet.  I’m sure I’ll live to regret that decision the next time I’m hiking a volcano on Maui and there’s no wi-fi reception.

And then, because it’s September 28th, we partied a bit tonight.  Cousin W is twelve today.

Of course, we headed off to the Festival of Jimmy John’s Sandwiches and Cupcakes WITHOUT my camera, which means I felt like one of my arms was missing.  This really doesn’t come as a surprise to me at all, considering that I managed to get into the Suburban IN MY SLIPPERS tonight, because I completely forgot that I was wearing them.

Hopefully I don’t forget my Geritol tablet or to take my teeth out before I head to bed.


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